tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post8060164180206496038..comments2023-10-20T07:13:22.206-04:00Comments on Waiting for Happy: Letting Goboltefamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178547489939649432noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-35703284259042173842010-09-13T01:35:07.537-04:002010-09-13T01:35:07.537-04:00Right. Days late, I just found these words and I ...Right. Days late, I just found these words and I hope your heart has found some healing since. <br /><br />Tell Howard to be nice(r) to our sanctuary, k? :) It's just dented enough to have personality. Any more and it might enter into hoopty (hooptie? hooptee? how do you spell that?) status.<br /><br />Love you so. Praying GOOD things come from this pain.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08759365262093159087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-27932244529580314352010-09-11T17:37:46.922-04:002010-09-11T17:37:46.922-04:00We spent the better part of today cleaning out the...We spent the better part of today cleaning out the basement. Or trying too...it's a several day project.<br /><br />Tubs and tubs of clothing and books for Matthew. He was outfitted for the next 3 years. <br /><br />I know much of things bought for Matthew will be able to be used for Luke, but that doesn't make it any easier because I know that they were bought for Matthew.<br /><br />Cleaning out Matthew's nursery in order to get it ready to be Luke's is killing me. I don't want a shrine, know that there's no purpose in keeping his bedding or all the things so purposely and lovingly picked out, bought and received, but...<br /><br />It's just killing me.<br /><br />Thinking of you....Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01828552745708177768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-41674795477799384062010-09-10T23:16:41.874-04:002010-09-10T23:16:41.874-04:00Praying for you Kristi that God continues to bring...Praying for you Kristi that God continues to bring you peace as you miss those sweet boys in heaven. Praying that you are able to vision them swaddled in the loving arms of our Father, in a lovely home He had carefully prepared for them. Even as He is preparing a place for you one day to come home to. Praying for your heart to enjoy your sweet ones here on earth as you anticipate your joyful reunion where your family will be reunited. <br />Hugs and Prayers<br />RachelRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10146322185715011803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-8219611773250128892010-09-09T02:13:56.336-04:002010-09-09T02:13:56.336-04:00I don't know if this will come out right, but ...I don't know if this will come out right, but maybe the tears falling as the bedding was taken away so quickly was another layer in the processing of grief and trauma. For you, it's not just baby stuff. The loss of two of your boys makes it so much more than just "baby stuff".<br /><br />Today I had a panic attack as I drove to the office that houses both my former maternity care providers and the pediatrician we use for our son. I had been needing to go pick up some paperwork for almost a month for my son from the pediatrician, but couldn't get up the nerve to go back in and risk seeing any of the staff involved in the malpractice that led to my horrific birth injury. So when I did go in and gut it through the rising panic, the dam broke as soon as I made it back to the elevator and the tears wouldn't stop falling. <br /><br />For me, it wasn't just an office visit. It was a reminder of the grief and loss caused by that trauma. It was yet another layer of grief in this whole process of letting go and finding healing. That sounds like where you are today. I think you are really courageous for letting go of those things in the middle of your grieving. I will be taking you to Jesus just as I crawl up in His lap myself.<br /><br />~ Sara in BCInklinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02775312085301951675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-12922493730527599582010-09-09T00:06:03.324-04:002010-09-09T00:06:03.324-04:00All I can say to you is that I am so incredibly so...All I can say to you is that I am so incredibly sorry that your heart is hurting this way. Although I cant even begin to fathom what its like to lose a child and have to let go of things that hold so many memories, I do understand what its like to literally have no where else to go but the feet of Jesus. He is with you, Kristy and He DOES have something so wonderful planned for your future. If I have learned one thing in the past year and a half- its that there will always be a better... we cant imagine it during the present but when we are able to look at our past and see how far we've come, that is when God's plan really starts to make sense. I think about you so often and wear my Isaac and Asher shirt to celebrate your sweet boys probably weekly. Sending huge hugs and prayers your way tonight!Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15733642932201946839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-31621553442411870322010-09-08T15:40:47.826-04:002010-09-08T15:40:47.826-04:00I am praying for you on these hard days. I know t...I am praying for you on these hard days. I know there are no words of comfort strong enough. You and your family remain in my prayers.Geri Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12666539728806442944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-4980618772809505772010-09-08T14:07:47.131-04:002010-09-08T14:07:47.131-04:00My heart hurts for you and I just wept with you re...My heart hurts for you and I just wept with you reading through this post. Esp that last paragraph. But, as I was reading it.. it struck me when you said .."I dont know what to do.." bc you were doing EXACTLY what you are suppossed to be doing. You said you were "crying out to God" in your van. He doesnt expect you to be skipping and singing walking through this suffering He has laid before you.. He just expects YOU! He just wants YOU. Look at the life of David.. read through his psalms. He poured his heart out before the Lord.. whether it be anger, deep, intense grief, sadness, frustration, fear, regret... ALL OF IT! AND... the Lord was PLEASED with David. The Lord looked WITH FAVOR upon him, because David gave Him his heart- whatever the condition. There is nothing to make it better, so I wont even attempt, but there is comfort in knowing that He just wants you to run TO Him and NOT away. Do not be discouraged or feel guilty, you are doing the BEST you can (even (and esp) when you dont feel that way!)!!!! Praying the God of peace brings your weary soul rest today.Rob and Jordanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14189626562208058080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-82837151050737277132010-09-08T12:22:17.496-04:002010-09-08T12:22:17.496-04:00I understand what you're saying. Praying that...I understand what you're saying. Praying that God gives you comfort and guidance during this time.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13464851421397863762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-73336303877619594712010-09-08T09:58:12.996-04:002010-09-08T09:58:12.996-04:00I hope that you would do foster care. It's be...I hope that you would do foster care. It's been on our hearts too and I've met children who had no where else to turn to and could use your big heart.<br /><br />I read a poem today from Streams in the Desert...and I thought of it when I was reading it. If you have it, it's on page 266-267 and it's the September 5th entry.Danae Hudsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10494305884228697891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-72283271098481578482010-09-08T08:42:09.974-04:002010-09-08T08:42:09.974-04:00I am praying for you Kristy and my heart hurts for...I am praying for you Kristy and my heart hurts for you. God is using you all the time sweet friend and you bless me so much by being you. He is going to be faithful in getting you through these hard emotional times. I am here for you and love you so much.<br /><br />Love and Hugs, LaurieLaurie in Ca.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15599832324966859946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-30111803886352719482010-09-08T07:36:05.136-04:002010-09-08T07:36:05.136-04:00I know He is working on u. Praying for u as u go t...I know He is working on u. Praying for u as u go through this part of your journey. Much lovemelissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00979458012877918481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-40126130831134873502010-09-08T02:36:02.693-04:002010-09-08T02:36:02.693-04:00kristy, i know i commented on fb about this- but i...kristy, i know i commented on fb about this- but i just wanted to say that i have been there (and was even talking with devon about this very issue earlier tonight!)...<br /><br />we recently sold our glider- and i have so many memories of being pregnant with vivian and annemarie and sitting in that chair and rocking. why did i sell it? i was being practical-but yes, the tears did fall.<br /><br />and when i was pregnant with v&a, i sold our single stroller- and i miss that, too. i know it's just a stroller, but it was my first-born's stroller...the one i picked out for her and took her everywhere in...i know it's JUST a stroller- but these baby years are so fleeting, and especially when you want something tangible to hold on to to remember the babies who aren't here. <br /><br />i get it...and just want to give you a hug. ((((hugs))) i am proud of you for getting rid of debt and making space in your house- it's just HARD. (((hugs)))Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03863461381473308483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-67215939189784258622010-09-07T23:33:16.397-04:002010-09-07T23:33:16.397-04:00Kristy, my heart hurts for you. I hope that in le...Kristy, my heart hurts for you. I hope that in letting go of these things you can find some peace in your heart. I can't imagine the loss you have experienced, but I pray that you are ok.<br /><br />RondaRondahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05915839151949053871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7668050648919046122.post-43725872474587253952010-09-07T23:10:18.704-04:002010-09-07T23:10:18.704-04:00Thinking of you tonight. I'll say a prayer for...Thinking of you tonight. I'll say a prayer for you! I have a hard time letting go of my kids baby clothes as I have so hoped and prayed for 'just one more' but it hasn't happened yet. :( Praying God will hold you close tonight and comfort you in only a way that He can. :)Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09066492943723194153noreply@blogger.com