As I begin this journey in taking better care of myself, Howard continually asks me what my goal is. More than once I have taken offense and thought he was being un-supportive. As I was running yesterday (yes, I followed through AND yes "I was running" are words I never imagined I would string together.) I had some time to really contemplate things and examine my heart (you know, as I was quite sure it would give out any moment).
As I ran and my legs began to ache I thought, why AM I doing this? What difference does it really make if I exercise or not? What difference does it make if I eat Oreos or apples? Does God even care?
As those thoughts raced through my mind, I plodded along and I feel like I was able to focus and really complete a thought (not always easy with 3 sweeties always around). I asked myself again, why I was doing this and I realized that if it isn't for His glory...it really is all for not. If I am running and eating better to be skinny, more attractive, admired, or to fit in my smaller jeans, it really is all for nothing.
Really, in anything we do, if it isn't for HIS glory, what is the point? The Bible tells us that God created us for His glory. If this is God's goal, then shouldn't all we do be aligning our lives with that goal? When I get frustrated or sad and I fill myself with cake instead of with God, is that bringing Him glory? Of course not.
I am sure it is no coincidence that yesterday in my reading I came across this gem:
WHATEVER we do should be done for the glory of God. This passage even says, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do...this confirmed for me that even in my diet I should be eating to fuel my body not medicate it.
We can stuff ourselves until we can eat no more and yet we will never be satisfied. Satisfaction only comes from God. When am I going to get it?
This battle is not about looking a certain way or even feeling a certain way. It is about yearning to feast on the "Bread of Life" and not empty calories. It isn't really about whether we eat apples or Oreos. Oreos can be a gift from God. It is about filling ourselves first with Him and craving that above all else.
As I ran last night and felt my lungs burn, chest pound, sweat pour and body ache, I wanted to quit. Surely something so painful could not be good. Yet my mind was brought back to the one who's body truly was broken for us. He endured more than I can imagine and because God created us for His Glory and because his plans for us are good...beauty does come from the broken.
I can't say that after day one, I enjoyed running and I admit I am relieved that as part of the plan, I don't have to do it today, but I am looking forward to my time on the road tomorrow, more time for solitude and prayer, my body is a vessel to be used for His glory and if it needs to be broken and endure pain to fulfill his purpose, so be it.
"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to Me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Isaiah 55:2
These shall be new additions to my index card Bible verses all over my home as a reminder...it is not about me...it is all about bringing honor and glory to Him. I also want to thank the many of you who have shared your experience and advice with me. I am honored to share in this journey with you!