I sit and write this in my bed as I recover from another melanoma surgery. Last week I had a mole removed and the doctor assured me if anything it was atypical, so I was a little stunned when the nurse called and said that it was in fact melanoma...again and that I would need to schedule a surgical excision to be sure we got it all. "This one was caught early" she said. Somehow that didn't comfort me. It felt like another battle to fight and while it definitely could be worse, I've been exhausted from fighting battles.
I remember finding out that Asher was not well while I carried him. It seemed so cruel that I'd have to go through that twice. I mean, I had the thought that "I had paid my dues". I praised God despite having to let go of my second born son. It seemed cruel that I'd have to also let go of my fourth born. They say lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. They're wrong.
Death can strike twice, cancer can strike twice, and it leads me to think of how Jesus' people must've felt on Good Friday. Good Friday couldn't have seemed "good" in any way shape or form. It had to be agony, it must've felt cruel and crushing, much like the trials we face today. Good Friday wasn't good. Sometimes we need to sit with that pain, we need to feel it, let it wash over us. Brokenness, fear, sickness, and death are all part of this fallen world. Christ suffered, we suffer.
The truth is, that we can live the Friday and Saturday experiences with hope. Jesus gave us a beautiful example. It's Friday, but we KNOW Sunday is coming. Christ died, but he ROSE. The rising would not be so powerful without the two days of death. Jesus overcame death so that we would be able to have the hope that one day all of these trials, these hurts, these battles will be won...maybe not by us, but one day all of the sad things will come untrue, there will be no more hurt, no more fear, no more death.
Jesus died, the tomb was empty, and he was resurrected. Friends who are living a Friday experience right now, hang tight, hold on and turn your face upward. I am not sure what it will look like but Friday doesn't last forever, don't lose hope, don't fear that Sunday won't come. He assures us it will. It hurts right now, there are so many questions, anger, disappointment, longing, grief and fear. Allow yourself to feel ALL of them, just don't reside there, feel them and keep on moving on to Saturday, Sunday WILL come. Beauty will come from ashes. It may not look anything like what we hoped or expected, but these trials are changing us, they're preparing us for greater things even when they don't feel so great. You may not feel like you've got this, but He does. Hold fast. It's Friday now, but Sunday IS coming. I don't know all of the answers, or really any, but I know this isn't the end.