Good News!

I first want to thank all of you for your prayers and warm wishes...they were truly felt this morning.

I am very happy to say that so far, everything looks good. We have another scan in four weeks to monitor growth but as of now things are still right on track!

I have much I want to say but my head is just spinning right now so I will try to put my thoughts together later...I just wanted to keep you informed!

I am so very grateful for your support and am overwhelmed by the grace God continues to extend to us.

Praying for GOOD news tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is a big day. We have an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 10:30. I will be almost 17 weeks tomorrow so we aren't sure what if anything this scan will tell us as I have not had one quite this early before. The issues Asher had were discovered at 19 weeks. I will have another scan in four weeks to compare brain measurement and growth.

I know I am to be anxious about nothing and just giving it all to Him, but I must admit friends, I am struggling just a little. I do have peace about all of this and I can say I am not freaking out. I do however feel my anxiety level raise just a little when I think about it. Ultrasounds have taken on a whole new meaning for me. I am not concerned with getting a cute picture of my baby or with finding out the gender (though they would be a nice bonus). I just really long to hear that everything looks normal.

Though, I do know that if that is not the path the Lord has chosen for us, He will guide us through whatever comes. I know He has gone before me and has prepared me for whatever blessings this little one brings.

I also have to admit that I really can't hold back my excitement about this little one most of the time anymore...I hope, I dream and I pray. I know that children are a gift and whatever gift the Lord has for me I am open and willing to receive it as he sees fit.

I am asking that you pray for us. Pray for peace to continue to fill our hearts and minds, pray for the doctors we will speak with tomorrow, and of course for this little one growing inside my womb.

I am so grateful for each and every one of you who continue to check in on us and pray for our family! It means more than you could know and your prayers are felt in a big way!

We will keep you posted!

I HATE ultrasounds!

On November 15th we were scheduled for our routine ultrasound to check the baby's anatomy. We were also hoping to find out the gender and we felt the appointment would go just fine. WRONG again! We did find that we were expecting a 4th boy! That was a bit of a shock to my system, but I truly was excited! The ultrasound tech did not lead us to believe anything was out of the ordinary and we went on to my appointment with the doctor. This is where things changed. Howard and I were in the exam room waiting and joking that there weren't any good boy names left, as we had used them all. The doctor came in with that look on his face. He said, I am so sorry to tell you this but we think something may be going on with the baby. Like Isaac, his head is measuring small. It may be nothing but we are going to send you to Pittsburgh to get it checked. If it were anyone else we would probably wait it out and see but we cannot ignore your history. I am sorry.

WHAT!? I was so confused. I had been told that Isaac's illness had been caused by an infection and that it was not something I needed to continue to worry about. I had asked for genetic testing and had been told that it was unnecessary. How could this be happeing again? The doctor said that there may be a genetic link and we needed to get it checked out.

I felt completely betrayed. I had been told that genetic testing was NOT necessary. What is wrong with me? I can't even grow babys well! I was in total shock. I didn't know what to think. Isaac was a blessing to us and I would never regret having him, but the thought of going through all of that again made me nauseated. I relived Isaac's birth and death over and over in my mind for the next day or so.

The next morning I called first thing to schedule my next appointment. Finally around 3 pm I got a call and my next appointment would be November 20th at 9:30. I clung to the hope that it was nothing. I prayed ever so passionately that my baby's head and brain would grow and develop.