I am a 30 something year old mom of five precious boys and two sweet girls. Five of our children are here with us and two are in the arms of Jesus. Our sweet baby girl Hope was diagnosed with Dystrophic Epdermolysis Bullosa and our youngest son came to us through adoption, our youngest daughter through foster care, and I've recently been diagnosed with malignant melanoma the Lord has shown us just how Faithful He is. We will continue to Journey and follow Him where ever He leads. We feel very blessed that God chose us to be the parents of each of our kids, and we look forward to what He has in store for us in foster care!
For the past few weeks I have been nesting...cleaning closets, washing windows and making room for another little person in the tiny Bolte Casa. We are so excited and it has been so great to get some things done.
This morning proved to be a chaotic one around here...after double checking weather.com I decided to take the chickens outside in the back yard to enjoy the day for a bit (have a mentioned we got chickens? Yes...me...the anti pet, clean freak has CHICKENS in the basement...I am growing or something) I got them all outside and came back in to get dinner in the crock pot while I watched them out the back window and it began to POUR buckets of rain. The chickens were all over, and it is well known that I am tentative about the chickens...the kids desperately wanted them, Howard wanted them, and I know I need to let go and let the kids experience these things, so we are giving chicken raising a shot, but chicken WRANGLING was not something I imagined for myself! :) But here I was running all over in the pouring rain catching chickens and putting them in a Rubbermaid bin to get them back to their cozy pen in the basement. I came in, soaking wet, put the chickens in the pen and the phone rang...
It was Jacob's "hopsital" as Hope so adorably calls it. Jacob is getting out next week! He is doing awesome and they are ready for me to come and get him!
Needless to say, next week I will be traveling to Arizona to get our son! I am overwhelmed, excited and well, just in awe of all God has done here. I don't know specifics yet as I am waiting for a phone call Monday to confirm everything but I know God is in the details and he will orchestrate this all perfectly! Would you all pray!? We are planning to spend the weekend getting things ready for his arrival! I know the next few weeks and beyond are going to be trying, but I KNOW God has got this. Jacob is going to have a lot of adjusting to do as are we, but we are over the MOON excited and would be so honored if you would join us in praying for all of the details! Thank you all SO much for your continued support, love, and prayers! EEEK! Our family is growing again!
God is so faithful, so present, and so amazing. Jacob is doing well. He is growing and making lots of progress and it is anticipated that I will be able to go and get him the first week of May! The past week was busy preparing our home for his arrival and making lists of the things we will need before he comes. It was a huge step for us but a necessary one. I shared my fear with Howard, telling him that I knew all too well that sometimes the Lord gives and the Lord takes away and that I was too afraid to be excited. His words to me were, "Kristy, it is time to get excited, we know that no matter what happens, God will carry us...let yourself be excited."
Excited I am! I washed diapers (you don't think he'll mind pink do you?) and set up a changing area and washed some of the clothes we've been given for him. We are preparing our hearts and our home and we are ALL excited! Hope asks each morning when we get to bring baby Jacob home from the "hopsital" so that she can take care of him. I know she is going to struggle to share her mommy but I also know she is going to be a great big sister.
Wednesday I sat down to do the financials of all of this. I put pen to paper and tried to figure out just how much more was needed to get him here. I sat and prayed for that provision to be made somehow. The very next day that very amount was donated to our account from a VERY generous donor. My heart overflows with gratitude. The only details left to pay for are the post placement visits we will be required to have (450.00) and the birth mom's post adoption counseling (300.00) unless anything else comes up. I stand here in complete AWE of the mountains God has moved on behalf of Jacob and I am just so very grateful. What once seemed impossible now is well within our grasp and I am so overwhelmed by our ever present, faithful provider.
There is a possibility that Jacob could be home by Mother's Day! What a gift that would be! I know His timing is perfect and he has proven that He's got this, but I LONG to hold Jacob in my arms and tell him JUST HOW much he is loved by his Heavenly father and how beautiful his story is. I have felt such love and support from so many and it brings tears to my eyes to know that Jacob is so loved and wanted by so many! Thank you ALL for your love, support and prayers. We are SO grateful.
It has been a crazy week here. I feel like we are walking on sacred ground. So many things happening and God is in them all. A very dear family is losing the matriarch they hold dear and we have been honored to come alongside them and enter in to their grief and comfort them with the comfort we've been so blessed to receive from the Lord through many others. It has been a week of tears and laughs and memories and I am so very thankful that our family has had the opportunity to be a small part of the journey. God is so very present and near bringing a peace that only He can bring and I am overwhelmingly thankful.
I also found out yesterday that all of your prayers for Jacob are working! God is so near to him. He is doing GREAT! He is becoming a social little guy and loves to be held and snuggled (oh how I cannot WAIT to get to do those things) he is eating and growing and just doing so great all around. I am waiting for a call today with some more information and am hoping for an estimated discharge date!
I am finding myself so conflicted over all of this. God has been so present and has provided each need so far and I know He will continue. We are almost 3/4 of the way to having all the money we will need to cover the adoption expenses. He has been in EVERY detail. Some day soon I will sit down and write in more detail about how He has orchestrated EVERY single detail. For now I am feeling a bittersweet excitement.
I cannot wait to hear them tell me that he is ready for discharge, and fly out to get him and introduce him to the family and community who loves him and wants him so much, but my heart breaks knowing how much his biological mother loves him. She REALLY does. This is so hard for her. I know the heartache of losing a baby and I don't want that for anyone so while I am so excited for our family to get to love and raise Jacob, I also am well aware of how difficult this is for her and am trying to find a balance. I pray for her and for Jacob each day and I can see Him working in the whole situation and I am just so grateful!
It looks as though VERY soon there will be another sweet little guy in this little house, we are busy nesting and preparing for his arrival and trying to take huge leaps of faith knowing God has got this whole thing. It is tough for me to prepare for a baby before they are really in our home, but last night as Howard and I were talking he reminded me that God wants us to be excited...we take nothing for granted...but it is okay to hope and dream and wash some baby clothes and be over the moon excited at the gift of his sweet life and his sweet mom. So keep up the prayers! Big things are happening! I will keep you posted!
Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing The tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending she didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that she has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
"When I Lay My Isaac Down" - Carol Kent "The One Year Book of Hope" - Nancy Guthrie "Holding on to Hope" - Nancy Guthrie "Empty Cradle Broken Heart" - Deborah Davis "Waiting With Gabriel" - Amy Kuebelbeck "Streams in the Desert" - LB Cowman "It Takes a Parent" - Betsy Hart "I'll Hold You in Heaven" - Jack Hayford "Crazy Love" Francis Chan "Radical" David Platt