Vote for Hope

SOOO...you know that photo contest I wrote about in my previous post that Hope HAD been left out of? Well, as it turns out they had to start over and they included Hope this time! YAY! SO...if you would, go to this website and click on Babies and One Year olds. Look for Hope's sassy nine month photo with Birthday Lamby, and then email katiemihalakcontests@gmail.com and put Babies and Ones:Hope in the subject line to vote for our girl! :) I would LOVE for her to win the tutus and bows and photos for her first birthday that is approaching! :) One vote per email address! :) Thanks everyone!

I Am Not Forgotten

"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."Exodus 20:16-18

This weekend a few of my sins have become glaringly obvious to me and while I am ashamed to admit how much I struggle with sin, it is the truth. I know better, I know what God's word says, and yet, time and time again I find myself in this place where sin is taking over my heart.

Oddly enough one of my triggers is often the zoo. Weird? Maybe, but at the zoo especially I find myself looking at other families with a covetous heart. The Bible is clear. We are not to covet what someone else has, whether it is their money, home, children or ox. The verse above states "or ANYTHING that belongs to your neighbor". CLEAR as glass my friends. Yet I see a family from afar who looks like the family I long for. Five children. Four sweet (I know, I know, looks are deceiving) boys and a baby girl. I swear the zoo was CRAWLING with them this weekend.

I gaze at these families longing to know the chaos of having five living children, four boys fighting fiercely, yet loving eachother passionately enough to stick up for the other. I know that from where I stand each of these families "looks perfect" but just as they do not know my story, I do not know theirs, I have no idea how heartache has affected their family or what trials they have endured. I do not know what their "perfect family" looks like and yet I stand there, eyes glazed over, in la la land, coveting their family. I can't help but wonder if the Lord has forgotten me and my longing for a big family.

I caught myself doing it several times and when we got home I found myself in a pit. I was emotioal and moody. My heart was not right, I was abrupt with the two sweet boys that I DO get to raise, and I snapped at the husband who has helped to carry me through the darkest hours of my life. Again, I sinned. I swear, one sin lead to another.

THEN...as if that were not enough I sat down to check email once everyone was in bed, I had been waiting all day to get home to check a particular website because I had entered Hope in a photo contest. The winner would receive a tutu, bows, and a photo session and I was so pumped to get her entered. So pumped in fact that I entered her immediately when I saw the opportunity. As I searched through the pictures of all of the sweet girls who had entered, Hope's never appeared. Tears began to well up in my eyes. Surely, she had NOT been forgotten.

Hope had been forgotten. I had followed directions. I did exactly what I was supposed to do to get her entered, and yet, she was forgotten. I am more than ashamed to admit that when I realized that her entry had been overlooked I sat and wept. I felt like a complete idiot, yet I could not stop the tears. So many times in this lifetime, I have felt forgotten. I know it is not the truth. I know that despite my sin, time and time again, my God forgives me and has NEVER, NOT ONE TIME, forgotten me, and yet sometimes it does feel that way.

Now, my baby girl had been forgotten, the baby girl that I look at every day as the incredible miracle she is. My wanting for her to win this contest had NOTHING to do with the winning of a tutu or bows or photos (though that would have been cool), it had to do with the fact that I am so eager to share my girl with the world. Looking at her each and every day is a reminder to me that the Lord is doing a new thing in my life. He has allowed great sorrow, but also great joy. He has given, and He has taken away. He has allowed the uncertainty of EB and yet he is bringing us through. I want to shout from the rooftops how joyful I am that I have gotten to keep her. My heart is broken, yet still beating, because of Him. She in no way makes up for her brothers' absences, but has brough a new kind of joy, I wasn't sure was possible for our family again. This was my chance to show her off! To show the world what the Lord can do. She has EB, we were told she would likely not be able to even wear a tutu, let alone be a model for tutus! It seemed perfect to me.


"Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you." (Isaiah 49:15)

There, sitting on my bed, weeping because of an honest mistake, in an inconsequential contest, I felt the hand of God upon my shoulder, reminding me that, he doesn't need that contest to show the world what he can do, just as I don't need what other families have, while my family may not be perfect here on earth, it will be some day, and I don't need a contest to show my daughter's worth. She is a miracle, and she is loved by God, and each of my sweet children are children of the Lord. I often feel as though Isaac and Asher have been forgotten, and the more time that passes from the time they entered Heaven, the more I fear that they have been forgotten.

The thing is sometimes we do everything right, and still feel forgotten, and sometimes we feel like one giant mess and wonder how He could love us in spite of the ugliness in our hearts. I am not sure how or why, but the Bible tells us He does. No matter how much ugliness surfaces, no matter how many times we fail, He loves us. He never forgets us and he knows each of us by name. Perhaps I needed this reminder. Hope may have been forgotten as an entry in a model contest, but will NEVER be forgotten by her Heavenly father. People always let us down, He never does. He promised NEVER to leave us or forsake us, and He won't, and tonight that is what is bringing great comfort to my ever broken heart. I am headed to bed tonight with a grateful heart. Grateful for my wonderful husband, and for each of my five miracle babies. I get to have two waiting for me in Heaven and three on this earth to help grow and learn and I do not take that responsibility lightly. I don't want to waste a minute that I have with thes precious ones being ungrateful or covetous. I have been blessed. We are never promised a tomorrow, right now is all we have and I am so glad I have the family God chose for me to share it with! We are NOT forgotten.


For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.Deuteronomy 4:31

Fab Five Friday

Again, I decided to join Emily in her Fab Five Friday, Blog Carnival! We all know that "things" are not what is most important in this world, but we also know that as parents, wives, women, there are products out there that DO make life just a little easier. Here are my picks this week!


1. Okay, I am so excited about this first "thing". I have really been struggling lately with sleep. I am not a big believer in letting a baby cry it out, but my boys transitioned easily to their beds from co-sleeping. Hope just wants to be on me EVERY minute of every day. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but my marriage was suffering for it. I NEVER had any time for my awesome husband. I was beginning to feel twinges of resentment because I never had a moment to myself or with Howard, and was frustrated and discouraged that every time I discussed our sleep issues, all I got was a "cry it out" answer. If "cry it out" is your thing, that is fine, but for us, I just can't do it. When I put my baby in their crib and walk away and I get that look of terror, confusion, and despair, I cannot take it. Babies cry to communicate and I try to be sensitive to their needs, but was losing my mind! A friend (who survived TRIPLETS using this) recommended this book and we are really seeing progress! It is not a miracle cure, but is such great advice and it really does work.

1. The No Cry Sleep Solution


2. Wii, Just Dance

This one is just plain fun! We have a blast with this game, rocking out to songs like, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" (don't tell Howard I told you, but he rocks at that song!) :) It is fun, great exercise and provides fun for the WHOLE family. Ben even does well!



3. Exersaucers

This is the ONLY way I get dinner ready. Hope LOVES hers (though it isn't quite as cool as the one pictured. She can really get it jumping, and the only drawback is that once she gets to rockin' that thing is LOUD!



4. Dark Chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs.

Seriously, do I need to say anything else? As if the Mini Egg could not get any better? Dark Chocolate is amazing!




5. Pinkalicious

Given to us as a shower gift by Aunt Heather, this was Hope's first book. She already adores it! It is a super cute story. Even the boys like it, but don't tell them I told you so. :)



So there you have it! My favorite "things" this week, though my TRUE favorites are not things at all!

It's What You Wear From Ear To Ear

On Sunday, my mommy was sick. My daddy let her stay in bed for a while. He had been waiting to put this camo sweatsuit on me since the day I was born. I guess my Great Aunt Penny made it for my brother Luke and he and Ben both wore it. I am pretty sure she never intended for me to wear it, but Daddy had other ideas, this was his chance, Oh I was so embarassed!

Seriously, I was mortified that my Dad, dressed me like a boy and then, to make matters worse my mom took my picture when she woke up. (She added the bow, she had ordered it by mistake, it was supposed to be lime green, but it showed up construction worker yellow and she could not think of a better outfit to add it to)

I REFUSED to allow the orange Crocs to remain on my feet to complete the ensemble, I mean a girl has to draw the line somewhere.

But then again, here is proof that I am beautiful no matter what they put on me!

I mean, they say, "It's what you wear, from ear to ear, and NOT from head to toe that matters" RIGHT?

BUT, Aunt Penny, if you are out there, maybe a PINK camo sweatsuit? PLEASE?!

Super Heroes?

Tonight Ben found a pair of "Mr. Freeze" PJs in a box of hand me downs we got from friends last week. He was SOO pumped and immediately put them on. He ran and got his super hero cape that "Grandma Bolte" made for him and a pair of his shades and...


POOF!!!

Meet Mr. Freeze!

"Who will protect the world from my super freezing powers?"

Meet, Mr. Flamer (yep, that's right, he made it all up himself)

But will Mr. Flamer's powers be enough to stop Mr. Freeze?

Stay tuned! :)

(check out those guns! (that is if you can get past the baseball socks and medical tape F on his muscle shirt! :))

We surely are blessed to have such super heroes in our home!

Snow What Fun!

King of the fort!

Happy Cousins!

Pile up!

Snow buddy! :)

The snow was awful wet for snowman building but they made a valiant effort!

Well, here in Northwestern Pennsylvania, seasonal affective disorder has begun to set in and despite super cold temperatures we needed to get OUTSIDE and run off some energy so we did just that! Daddy built a fort and the boys (including cousin Andrew) had a ball!

Fab 5 Friday

So...My friend Emily has been doing something on her blog called Fab 5 Fridays. She highlights five "things" that she loves or that make her life easier. Her rule is that she is supposed to stick to "THINGS", but she is a rebel and does break that rule sometimes. I thought it would be fun to join her so here goes!

1.

The Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer. These things are AWESOME. I have just learned to make home made bread using the dough hook on this and it works great! I love it for mixing all things from cakes to mashed potatoes and as a bonus, the white noise it makes soothes a cranky baby. :)




2.

I often don't have much time for getting "made up" in the morning, but have found this make up to be the best by far! It is made of all natural ingredients and is very gentle and natural looking yet provides amazing coverage for the darkest of circles under those sleep deprived eyes! My sister turned me on to this and I don't think I will ever turn back! PS you won't even break out if you fall asleep in it! (not that I ever go to bed before washing my face:) )



3.

Three words...FIVE BLESSED BOWS! Seriously these things are fabulous! I LOVE them. They are wonderful quality, the headbands are comfy and stretchy and don't leave marks on baby's head and the gripper bows are phenomenal. They stay put even when you put a winter hat over them!



If you have a little girl and do not have these bows...go right NOW and get some! They have some adorable Easter bows. Don't forget to tell them I sent ya! They have a referral program where you earn free bows for referrals! :) Thank you to Christy for opening my eyes to this whole wonderful world of bows!




4.

The Streams in The Desert Devotional. My mother in law brought this to the hospital while I was recovering after having Isaac and it has been like my daily bread every day since. I have read it four times through and each time my eyes are opened to new things. The Word hits me at a different spot in life and I learn new things each time! It is uplifting and really with this book there is NO excuse not to at least do daily devotions each day. They are short and profound!



5.

Slings! This one is the Peanut Shell, which I keep in my on the go bag for grocery store trips and such. They are not bulky and fit in my bag nicely. I also love the patterns. Hope doesn't like to EVER be put down so I am a HUGE fan of babywearing! Slings are my carrier of choice these days now that she likes to just sit on my hip. I do wish I had a stretchier one though now that she is bigger...any suggestions?





So maybe you have five things that have made your life easier this week! Join in the fun and join Emily's Fab Five Friday! :)

PLEASE check your crib!

After knowing the heartache of losing a child, I typically go insane checking to be sure we do all we can to ensure the safety of our three living children. This week I was doing my periodic check of all recalls and found that our crib had once AGAIN been recalled. The company went out of business and did not contact consumers. Babies have DIED after being trapped between the drop side and the mattress!

PLEASE go right NOW and check your crib.

THIS seems to be a good site with photos of recalled cribs.

I have been astonished that just today about TEN of my Facebook friends also found that their cribs have been recalled after I posted this to my page. That led me to think about all the babies out there who are sleeping in unsafe cribs! Check your crib if it is one that has been recalled, stop using it immediately, and then call the manufacturer for a replacement or refund. If like mine, your crib manufacturer has gone out of business, call the retailer. I am taking ours in tomorrow for a replacement. We will NOT be getting another crib with a drop side. Err on the side of caution and get a crib with stationary sides!

Asher's Birthday

For Asher's birthday celebration this year we decided to do the same thing we did last year and take the kids to our FAVORITE local hotel (that we discovered last year when a friend got us a room there for Asher's birthday). They have a beautiful pool room and rooms that open right into the pool. We had a nice time. We focused on the gift the Lord has blessed our family with. We laughed, we cried, we swam, and we ate! :) I wish I had more pictures of the boys. They had a BLAST, but the lighting in the pool wasn't great and most of my pics are too blurry and they NEVER got out of the pool, so these will have to do. It was a super emotional weekend for all of us. Luke and Ben are beginning to REALLY understand the magnitude of everything and we had some very deep conversations with them. It was both nice and heartbreaking. But I guess that is what it is to celebrate the life of our sweet boy in Heaven.

Happy 9 Months Baby Girl!

Playing on the floor with Ben

Look how BIG I am! Can you believe it?

I am much bigger than Birthday Lamby these days!

My brothers taught me to "raise the roof" They are some pretty Kool Kats! :)

Most of the time (as long as the attention is on me) I am a super happy girl!

I woke up this morning and suddenly my baby girl was 9 months old! How DOES this happen? Here are a few photos from our "shoot" this morning! I just cannot believe how big she is getting!

So...Here is what she is up to these days:

She has a tooth! It popped through the skin on the 22nd of February (Asher's Birthday)

She is now STANDING in her crib and tries to pull herself up to anything she can scoot herself over to.

She weighs about 17 pounds (we will have exact measurements Wednesday)

She is wearing 6-9 month clothes and some 12 month clothes.

She LOVES peaches.

She still will not take a bottle or cup!

She won't eat baby food but will eat steamed fruits and veggies that are diced up.

She prefers MOMMY in a BIG way. The moment I walk away from her she SCREAMS.

She is taking some naps in the crib and starts there at night, but is still waking to nurse. (this one is tough because during the day when she nurses she loses interest because the boys are so busy and she wants to see what they are up to and I don't DARE leave them even for a moment so I am allowing the night nursing because it is her only time of peace and quiet)

She still calms down instantly when we sing "You Are My Sunshine" (but only the first verse, the second verse makes me sad, I don't even allow Howard to sing it)

She loves to gnaw on celery sticks!

She can practically make her megasaucer get air!

She desperately wants to move, and is trying hard. I am pretty sure it is just a matter of time. She gets on her belly and propels herself backward on the wood floors! :)

She waves bye bye, makes a kissy face, nods when you say "How YOU doin'?", raises the roof, and LOVES to dance!

She really is a perfect addition to our family. I have to pinch myself each day when I realize I get to raise these kids!