8 Months Ago

It has been eight months today since I held my youngest son. Eight months since I kissed his sweet forehead. I wish I could stand here and tell you that eight months out, the pain has diminished. I cannot. It is there. It is always there. I miss that sweet boy so much. In so many ways it seems like eight years ago that we held him and yet it seems just like yesterday. We live on as does his memory and the memory of his big brother Isaac. We speak their names each day. They are very real members of our family though they are unseen. They do show up though.

At Asher's memorial service we handed out seed packets for people to take home and plant in memory of our son. The packets contained zinnia seeds. We planted ours. For quite some time I figured they were not going to come up and it broke my heart. Then just about a month ago....I walked out the front door and saw about eight brilliant orange zinnias (the color of Asher's hair) standing about a foot and a half tall along our walkway. It brought me to my knees. My mother in law also planted hers. She got some really neat colors, reds, yellows, pinks, all kinds of colors. Not me. Nope. I got orange. Now for those who know me you know that orange is by far my favorite color. Somehow...in my packet of seeds...assorted seeds...thousands of seeds...I got orange. Just orange. (I will add a picture later.) This somehow amazes me because we made the seed packets so ALL of the seeds came from the same box. I was blessed with a packet of just orange seeds. They were amazing and I am so thankful for those beautiful orange flowers, a beautiful reminder of a beautiful blessing.

It has been eight months. Our hearts are far from healed, but we are so much better off because Asher lived. I am so grateful for the 35 minutes we were given. Children are such a gift. I have been richly blessed.

Happy Birthday Sweet Asher! You are so loved and missed!