Finding Freedom

I know I have been a blog slacker lately. I just have been in a weird place, not a bad place, just different I guess. I think for a while now I have been throwing myself into everything I could just to keep busy and after much prayerful consideration, I have backed off a bit. I was finding myself exhausted, frustrated and my spiritual tank was running on well below a quarter of a tank. It has been said to me time and time again that if you don't pause and allow God to fill you, you will run out of steam quickly and I think I was on that path. I have really had nothing to say.

I am happy to say I have been taking time lately to engage in some of my awesome friendships the Lord has blessed me with, I have taken time to simply enjoy the family he has blessed me with and the Bible Study I started is doing exactly what I hoped it would. I am feeling like my tank is filling again. I am breathing in the truth and I cannot tell you what it has done for me personally. As most of you know I started the "He speaks to Me" study by Priscilla Shirer. I have been blessed with a small group of women to walk with me on this journey and I believe God is blessing each of us through this group. It is so much easier for me to take my quiet time and really get into the Bible when I have some structure and direction and this study is AWESOME! Priscilla is surely an anointed teacher and I have been so incredibly touched by her.

SO, I am taking some time to just reflect to think about myself and where I am and where God wants me. I am learning much about what the Bible says about humility, sacrifice, obedience, and grace and I am learning I have much work to do. :-) And I am excited to start excavating the yucky stuff out of me and filling myself with the truth.

I am ready to let go and just follow Him in humble obedience, to a much fuller extent than ever before. I am ready to let go of the sins that are holding me back from having the relationship I desire. I have learned that I have been a prisoner to my own sin and if I believe in God I must trust him completely and turn from all sin and repent. This is the only way to be free. I can't hold on to anything but Him and though it is hard I must trust and obey, He will take care of the rest. I have to say I like the me He is molding me into.

I have had a relationship with God for a while now and I am so glad to see myself moving forward instead of being stuck in a rut. I know I will make mistakes and I know He has enough grace to cover me.

Each night as I pray with Luke and ask him if there is anything he wants to tell God he is sorry for, I think about my own life and for a while I really couldn't think of anything myself, that I was sorry for on some days. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I hadn't really done anything bad, but I am now learning that sometimes it isn't the big stuff, it is the stuff we tend to overlook like pride that we need to examine and repent. Sure, I got through the day without, stealing, killing, worshipping false idols or coveting my neighbor's wife, :-) but surely there are sinful things in my nature that need to be excavated. I am learning I need to love others, especially when they may not deserve it in my eyes, I mean do we really deserve the love God gives? Of course not! But He lavishes us with it anyway and that is what he wants us to do for each other!

So I am moving forward, not on, but forward. I am still chillin' in the wilderness, and right now I think it is the best place for me to be right now. I am learning so much and growing so much closer to the God who understands my heart exactly. For so long I fought to breathe, and struggled, and I am still just as broken as before, but am forcing myself to inhale and exhale and finding freedom in the truth of His Word. This is just where I need to be! So, friends, no worries, I am doing fine. God is working overtime!