I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea of waiting. Patience, has not always, OK, ever, been my strong suit. I like to have a plan laid out before me...I do not like having to wait to see what is next. This is something that right now, I feel the Lord is really trying to change in me. He is showing me that walking by faith, means sometimes not seeing the road ahead, but forging onward anyway, because that is where He is leading.
This pregnancy is really really really showing me that I must wait upon the Lord and then take the next step. Months ago we were wondering how God would have us grow our family, we were praying about what He wanted us to do, and we found out we were expecting a baby! There is an answer! :-) Since then it has been one day at a time. I am not very good at one day at a time, but I am learning. I am learning to take each day for what it is and count my blessings. I know that for today I have a wonderful husband, two great kids on earth, two in heaven and one who is growing well inside my body. For that I will rejoice.
I do not know what tomorrow brings, and for today, I need only to think of the cares of today. After our last ultrasound it was really tough for me to walk out of that office and rejoice that for today things look great, I wanted to just tuck that away knowing that the next scan may say something completely different. But, that is not what God is calling me to do. He is calling me to rejoice in EVERY little thing, every little blessing, knowing that though I do not know what tomorrow holds, that He has walked before me and has created this path. He has plans for me and they are good. That is all I need to know.
Today as I stood in our church worship center singing "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord" tears began welling up in my eyes. Sometimes He grows our strength not by doing, but simply by waiting. "He is the everlasting God" he doesn't grow tired, but we do and so sometimes he calls us simply to wait while he acts in his time.
As I think about the knowledge I have from His word I think of all of those in the Biblical record who have been called to wait. Waiting for the Lord to act in a seemingly impossible situation is an act of faith. Waiting for the Lord to act is not easy. It is tough, but I think it is necessary to strengthen our faith. By waiting on the Lord, we are admitting that we need Him, that we need His help, and that we cannot do it on our own.
Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:31
What I find myself needing to remember is that each step of my life has been planned, all of my days have been ordained, by One who knows so much better than I, and when I fail to wait and I move forward on my own timeline, I am often setting myself back. God is calling me to humble myself, submitting to Him, admitting that His ways are better than my own and sometimes pride and impatience get in my way.
I think many times I have failed this test...I have yearned to know what is next, I have mistaken God asking me to wait, for His silence, ambivalence, or inaction. I don't see Him working so I grow impatient with his "inactivity" and I take matters into my own hands, trying to make life work on my own. This only sends me further backward. I feel like in this season of my life this is something he is really trying to cultivate in me. A patience, a humbling of myself to wait upon him however long that may take. To rejoice in today's blessings and not worry about tomorrow.
I suppose that is my New Year's resolution in a way. Just to wait. To wait upon Him, the One who knows all. The one who created me for a specific purpose, I will wait on Him so that I can be used for that purpose.
I would love to hear about times that maybe you have or haven't waited when you should have and how you may have been blessed by your waiting or set back by not waiting. You are welcome to email me at boltefamily@windstream.net or just leave a comment!
When the Melanoma gal moves to the Beach
5 years ago
11 comments:
I think waiting on the Lord can be one of the hardest things we are asked to do. At least I often have trouble with it! So often I plow ahead with my own agenda and my eagerness to be useful...only to wish I had waited for His timing and do it in His way. Waiting to have the desires of your heart fulfilled is so tough but that daily minute by minute excercise of trust produces a depth of faith that knows how to simply trust, even when we can't see the road ahead. That giving up control...or the illusion of control has been a tough lesson for me. Great post !
Can't think of anything right at this moment but may comment again later when I do. But I just wanted to say that was an excellent post and encouraging to boot!
Hi Kristy, that's so weird that that's how God spoke to you in church because on Saturday night (same service), that's the song God spoke to me through.
When we were expecting Rachel, I listened to that song over and over, claiming God's promise for strength. I also think that in the back of my mind, I was waiting for God to change something.
But as I stood in church last night and sang that song, I was struck with the fact that it's not "change" that comes as I wait upon the Lord, but "strength"...strength to get through whatever knocked me over to begin with. I despretly want to change Rachel's situation. I want her to walk, to have feeling in her feet. I don't want all of our time with her to be made up of "exercises and physical therapy and doctor's appointments". I want to just have fun with her.
But I see, that as time goes on and I trust God, He changes me and gives me strength. I can get through whatever I need to.
Peace to you as you wait...
Hi my name is Jeannine. I have found your blog through MckMama's. We lost our son a year ago this Saturday, and currently expecting a little girl. I have so many of the same feelings that you do. I am in the same stage as you all we can do is wait and have faith. I have faith hat things are done for a reason. I try to figure out that reason and just cant seem to make sense as to why my baby boy was taken away. There are so many things that go through my head on a daily basis as to what could have been done, but in reality our son was suffering and God did what was best for him. I site here and wait and hope to find out someday why, but not sure I ever will.
Hugs
Jeannine
jlb1094@yahoo.com
http://remembered-forever.org/JustinJohnUrsillo/p/index/
Kristy,
Strength will rise!! I am counting on it. HOPE you know how much you are loved!
Kim
Praying for peace and for God to give you "glimpses" into His plan to comfort you. Praying that you will be bringing home a beautiful healthy baby in 2009.
I wanted to share with you about my oldest son, Theodor. When I was expecting him my husband & I were told that he would have downs and that we would have to decide on how far we wanted to go test wise.. The Dr. told us that at the end of the tests we could consider "terminating the pregnacy". My husband & I just looked at each other and my husband voiced what was going through both our minds. "That is not an option!" I was able to find my voice and told the Dr. that we would prepare for the possibility of Downs. My husband's Grandpa Theodor had died that morning. Pete was very close to him. We found out that morning after meeting with the Dr. that we were having a boy. For that one moment Pete & I forgot about the fears and were caught up in the joy of seeing our first child's heart beating and find out we were having a boy. We decided that God took one Theodor and gave us another. Pete & I put our son's life in God's hands. God gave us such peace. Theo is now 10 years old and in the fourth grade. He has PDD and he is in an excellent Autism support class st his school. Pete & I feel that God has lead us to our home and the school district we are in.
I wouldn't change my son. I am so thankful for the way he is. This has been a real learning experience for us.
Thank you for letting me share this. It has been nice to stop in my busy life and remember one of the best and scariest days of my life. I hope this was ok that I shared this.
The time I had to wait on the Lord was three years ago this past December when I received the call that our grown and married daughter had been in an accident on her way to work....a Metro bus had hit her head on. The trauma center doctors said she might not survive. She has three young children.
Just as you wrote about the day that Asher was born -- we felt God's presence in such a real way. The members of His Body held us. The wait seemed forever as she lay in a coma for four days. Our God is a God of miracles.
It was a long recovery. Although she had broken bones, a severely damaged eye, and a brain injury she is completely back with us, doing everything with minimal permanent damage. Truly God's miracle and she gives God the glory.
The verses that the Spirit called to mind that I just clung to during that time were from Matthew:
Matthew 7:9-12 (New International Version)
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him
God has the very best plan for us for He loves us more than we can ever imagine.
Praying for you and your dear ones! Thank you for your blog.
A sister in the Lord, Carolyn
I have certainly found that waiting is not inactive, but active...because it really takes more for me to "wait" that to "do". It is a lesson that serves us all well. Learning to wait on the Lord does require patience and trust...for His perfect will in His perfect time.
Sometimes I feel exhausted at the prospect of taking life a day at a time. But God reminds me that He wants to take my burdens, that I am allowed to go before the Throne of grace daily and ask God to go before me.
Praying for you all as you wait upon the Lord and glory in His mercies daily.
Beautiful family my friend. So beautiful...
I'm not sure why you ask for emails because you do not respond to them and even out right ignore prayer requests. I guess it's ok to ask for prayer for your own babies and those you deem deserving.
Well, every baby deserves to be prayed for if they are at risk of being very sick and possibly not making it requardless of the reasons.
K
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