Sunday, March 11, 2012

Little People, BIG Difference


Jonah Williams

Gabe Williams

Melody and Madison Delgado

Isaac Bolte

Asher Bolte

Hope Bolte

God is using these little faces to change the world. Their lives have made a difference in this world and I am humbled that I have been able to be a part of it. The Bible tells us that children are a gift, a real blessing, and honestly that could not be more true! God gives good gifts and brings beauty from pain and suffering and this is a story of such things. :) Tears of joy flow down my face as I type this post. The Lord has written a beautiful story. A story of love and heartache and redemption. We sometimes tend to think these things only happened in "Biblical" times, but I am telling you, the time is NOW.

Gratitude is something I have been really honing in on lately. I have been reading Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, and I cannot even tell you how it is transforming my life. Living with gratitude in all things is what God intended for us. We are to praise him for everything. I struggle with that. I am trying hard. As a part of this journey I began a journal, where I am logging the gifts I see in my life, like the book, trying to get to 1000. The goal is to be thankful and joyful in ALL things. A thankful heart is truly a happy heart.

I have written before about a little boy named Anton, who lives in a hospital on the other side of the world. He has EB and was facing life in an orphanage. My heart broke for him. I wanted him. I could feel God bringing him to mind so often and praying for him. Little did I know the Spirit was a movin'.

My friend, Patrice had posted his picture on Facebook and I fell in love. Patrice's little man, Jonah has EB and her heart was broken for him as well and as much as she wanted him, she just knew she couldn't care for him and for Jonah. She has jumped into action advocating for this little boy though, praying for a family for him and committing to do anything she could to help the process, and she has done much. My heart was stirred. I emailed Patrice asking her to pray for me because I was beginning to feel like I was supposed to play a part in this . Hope has EB, but her EB is NOTHING compared to most and Isaac had EB, his was much more severe than Hope's. Hope has been amazingly blessed and I often feel guilty because so many kids are living with EB in such a different way and it just doesn't make sense.

I prayed and prayed. I pleaded with the Lord, I felt the Spirit moving, but I felt paralyzed. I sat in Hope's room one day in February just crying and rocking her and praying aloud to the Lord. Praying that if I was to take Anton, that he would make it clear to me. We don't have medical facilities close by, which would make taking Anton difficult, but if that was what the Lord wanted, we could move. I put Hope in her crib and headed to the kitchen, when I saw that Vanessa called. She sounded excited in her message and said I would want to call her back immediately. I did. She said that she had seen my re-post of Anton's story and that she was pretty sure he was her son. He shares the same birthday as her little guy, Judah, and Anton WAS originally a twin, add to that Vanessa and Jason had conjoined twin girls who they held briefly and released to Heaven. She felt strongly that Anton was her son. Vanessa and I had become friends through the loss of our sweet babies and had the opportunity to hug each this past summer during my trip to Texas.

Tears streamed down my face as I spoke to her. I have been praying SO hard that God would give Anton the family he deserves. Vanessa is in North Carolina as we speak getting hands on EB training from Patrice, and this morning I received a call from Vanessa... the Delgados have been able to officially commit to their little boy. She and Patrice were doing a happy dance, I could HEAR it over the phone. :)

I have chills and tears and I just want to shout for joy! I was telling Howard about all of this the other night and he said to me, "Well, Kristy, have you written Hope's EB in your gifts journal?" I looked at him like he was nuts.

Hope's EB while mild, has caused much resentment in my heart. I know it sounds silly because she really is doing amazingly well and has little to no issues to speak of, but in those first months of bandage changes and fear, I feel like we were robbed. The truth is we were robbed because we allowed Satan to steal our joy. Joy is always possible when you have a grateful heart and my heart was NOT grateful for Hope's EB. Not at all.

So that night, I was able to write Hope's EB in that gift journal. It is easy for me to write that that I can see the blessings that have come from her EB. If she had not been diagnosed with EB, God would possibly not led me to Patrice or Anton. If I had not known of Anton and felt led to pass the info on to Vanessa, Anton might not be moving toward a life in Texas. Now I am still working on the rest of this gratitude. Because it is also true that if my boys had not died, and Vanessa's girls had not died, I would have never known Vanessa and in turn Anton may not be heading home. I struggle with saying that my boys' deaths, or Vanessa's girls deaths are gifts, but I can plainly see that God knows what he is doing. I don't think he caused our heartache for Anton's sake, but he sure has used it.

This life is hard, it is full of hurt and pain and things we just cannot understand, but through it all God is working a good plan just like his word says He is! Would you join me in praying for sweet Anton and the Delgado Family as the move forward in bringing Anton Home?

I can see God's hand so clearly in all of this and I stand in awe as always of those he is using. The William's Family and the Delgado Family are living the gospel. They ARE being his hands and feet and helping to care for this sweet orphan boy. They are taking Him at his word and trusting. How can you help but be inspired? Vanessa, Patrice and I all have babies waiting for us in Heaven and I can't help but think that they are smiling down, knowing that they each have served such a grand purpose. God doesn't make mistakes and not one of those five babies lives was in vain. Not one. The Lord sure does write amazing stories, and I am just so thankful to be a small part. His grace is sufficient. There is ALWAYS Hope. He takes our pain and turns something gnarled and ugly into the most beautiful of things. That is the God we serve. He is the one we owe it all to.


The Smittys said...

I LOVE THIS. the fact that all of you chose to see God's goodness through the valley of the shadow of death... we all get to see His redemption! OH HE IS GOOD! Love to you and yours!

Emily said...

Incredible. Awesome. Grateful.

HIS story rocks.

Laurie in Ca. said...

You KNOW I love this and how it touches my heart with joy. God bless little Anton and his new forever family. God is so good all the time:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Paige said...

awesome. that is the be thankful for our children's deaths. to not live on this earth being their parents- "in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 thessolonians 5:18

i know your heart is changed and great things are happening because of these little lives! in that we can be very thankful!

Crystal Theresa said...

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Mandy's Memories said...

Wow! This is truly a miracle from the Lord! I have been following Patrice's blog for a while now and have been prayimg for sweet Anton. I just read her blog and found yours and this is just unbelievable! Tears of Joy!!!!

Andrea said...

I read this the other day and I just read Patrice's version. It just makes me tear up and smile so big. What a wonderful story.....Praise God for you ladies, your sweet angels on earth and your sweet angels in heaven.

Matt said...

Kristy this post is soooo beautiful! I love you and Anton is so blessed to have you as his Aunt!


Matt said...

Ha I just realied I posted under Matt's account but it's me :)


Unknown said...

Good job making me cry my eyes out.

Scrolling down, seeing all of their little faces, the purpose in the pain...


Laura A said...

Hi Kristy- I haven't posted in a LOONG time, but am so excited to see how the Lord is moving in all of this! Thanks to you, Patrice and of course Vanessa for living the Gospel and being obedient to God's call!!

Hope all is well with your family!

Love from TX,