In a Moment

It was on this day, November 15 last year that our world, our hopes our dreams changed in just a moment's time. We went in for our anatomy ultrasound hoping to find out healthy boy or girl, and found out boy, possibly not healthy. We were sent to Pittsburgh the following week. It just got me thinking this morning how all it takes is a moment for life to change completely. We went into that ultrasound confident in the fact that God would certainly NOT ask us to walk that road again. This baby would be fine. We had no doubt. In a moment we learned how wrong we were.

Asher Joseph Bolte



In a moment two lines appeared on a HPT


In a moment I became a mom again


In a moment hoping and dreaming began


In a moment our families began to hope and dream


In a moment our boys became brothers


In a moment we learned we would have a fourth SON!


In a moment our hopes and dreams would have to change


In a moment our fourth son came into this world


In a moment he changed our lives


In a moment he changed the lives of many others


In a moment he returned to Jesus


In a moment we were left broken and shattered


In a moment God provides grace and comfort


In a moment two lines appeared on a HPT



Everything can change in a moment, yet God NEVER does. Though the pain is still real, there is comfort in knowing One Thing will always be constant.

It is crazy to stand where I stand and look back at the unfolding of the past few years. After losing Isaac I can say that we were shocked to find out that Benjamin was on the way and though Ben could NEVER replace the Isaac shaped whole in our hearts, he brought hope, he brought healing, he showed us that life was going to go on and that we could continue to live even with the hurt.

I am beyond thankful for Benjamin and what he brings to our family. He is our "funny guy" and he has brought more laughter and joy to our home than I imagined possible. Each of our children bring something unique to the family. Luke is our loving kind hearted always wants to cuddle guy. It goes without saying what Isaac and Asher have brought to our family.

I stand here, carrying the baby brother sister of Luke, Isaac, Benjamin, and Asher and I know that this child will certainly not replace anything that has been lost. Each of these children holds his own special place that could never be taken by anyone else. Our Asher sized hole cannot be filled either. I do have hope though, hope that we will again hold a baby, get to bring a baby home and though that does not change the moments of the past, it gives hope to the moments of the future.

I am so hopeful and yet I know better than ever that we are promised nothing. We have today and for today I am going to revel in the fact that God has blessed our family once again with a gift unlike any other.