Tuesday, June 9, 2009

One Week


It is hard to believe, but yesterday Hope turned one week old! She is a delightful baby who makes all of us smile! We appreciate your continued prayers for our sweet girl. She is still doing well. She is eating well and sleeping well and is so much fun during her awake times. She rarely fusses unless she wants to eat and, well she has no patience there. No new blisters have developed at this point and we still would covet your prayers at bandage change time. We usually do it around 10 pm after the boys are asleep. It is getting better as we have better educated ourselves and invested in better supplies.

Each time Ben sees her he shouts "She's so cute, She's so tiny!" He also always uses her first and middle names, and Luke could hold her all day and sing her "baby songs". They are enamored with their little sister and take breaks from playing just to come and tell her she is loved.
We are enjoying having Howard home. He is off for the summer now since school is out and I have to say he has been a champ at caring for all of us. He really is amazing. He has kept up with ALL of the house work in addition to preparing meals and caring for the boys. We are so blessed to have such an amazing daddy for our family (who by the way has started his own blog ) He has so much to offer I know you would be blessed by his writing as he seeks the Truth.

As for me, physically I am doing well. I know the moment I have overdone it and have to back off. I am feeling a lot less sore though. I am pretty sure I am still high on adrenaline. I could just stare at sweet Hope all night long. Emotionally though friends, I am growing weary. I feel like I am still always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Some nights as I sit here loving on our girl, my heart is gripped with fear. I know too much. TWICE I have held my babies as they have left this world and lets be honest. I DON'T want to do it again. I want to hold her and breathe her in and dream about pigtails, dance class, and curfews, NOT wonder if how I am holding her is going to cause a blister. I want her brothers to be able to love on and explore her without me near tears worrying they could hurt her. I want to tickle cute baby feet, not change bandages.

All that said, I know how immensely blessed I am just to have Hope, she is here and she is thriving. I do assure you I cherish every minute and love her for exactly who she is. I trust that God has a plan and that it is good. Maybe I just need a minute to be human, because I am just plain tired of everything being hard. I am never very good at waiting for answers and in the meantime I have a tendency to do my own research and find the WORST possible scenarios.
Anyway, we are all doing well and enjoying each other. Please continue to pray for Hope and for my heart. I know this fear is not from God and I am fighting it with everything I have, but some days I do grow weary.

45 comments:

Rob and Amy said...

I just don't think she could be ANY sweeter! I just want to eat her up!!! We are praying for your Kristy. Praying for your family, for your sweet babe, for your anxiety and fears. Praying for the doctors, their patience, their wisdom...and praying that God would just wrap your family in his love and grace during these tough tough times.

ABandCsMom said...

You are so blessed. She is just precious.

Ronda said...

So glad to hear that you are all doing well! Thanks for the update! Prayers continuing for you all!

Laurie in Ca. said...

I am right beside you Kristy, fighting this fear with you. It is not from God but it is terrible non the less. Asking God for extra strength for you to turn from fear the best you can and for Him to lift you up. Love you girl and won't stop fighting this with you. Sweet rest tonight my friend.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Sara said...

I'm glad to hear she is still doing well. I hope bandage changes go better for you and Hope and that her blisters heal quickly for her sake and yours. I'm sure there are quite a few people praying for your family and I know she has a couple Angels looking out for their little Sister.

-Sara

Cindy McNeal said...

I am so glad to hear she is doing so well! I continue to pray for her and your family. :)

asplashofsunshine said...

You made my day, again. She is nearly smiling in the photo. Well, maybe not, but for a one week old, we can pretend. You and your entire family will always be in my thoughts. Take care.

sumi said...

OH Kristy, I haven't visited in a while, (honestly, I have had a teeny struggle because everyone around me is pregnant or has just given birth to little girls, and our little Jenna is with Jesus) but I just popped in and have to tell you: Hope is just the sweetest thing! What a precious little blessing.

I'll be keeping you all in my prayers. God is faithful.

HUGS!

stephanie said...

OH, do I love seeing that beautiful face first thing in the morning.She takes my breath away, how I wish I could hold her too. Your boys sound like my son Andrew. He's five and all "boy",but he is reduced to a baby babbling,song singing gentle soul when he is around Emilia.Hope's doing so well, no new blisters, that's good news.Go easy Mama, sounds like your Howard has it all under control.Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Sending prayers always.

Rebecca said...

Your story has so touched my heart. I am so proud for you that you have little Hope now. She is adorable. Don't beat yourself up over the fact that you still have many fears. Moms with no history like yours have so many fears that come in the middle of the night...so, of course, you are going to have them even more. I'll be praying for you that the Lord will calm your heart so you can enjoy Hope to the fullest.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Praying for you and your beautiful girl...

Cristi said...

Isaiah 41:13 I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you.

libby @ ninesandquines said...

She is SOOO beautiful and precious!!! Hang in there - hopefully the fear will subside soon!

Anonymous said...

There is strength in admitting you're scared. It's ok. Everything is going to be ok. You can worry and cry and laugh and sing. It will all be ok. Enjoy your moments being human. You too were given to this world for a reason. Let your self be who God made you, and rejoice in the fact that you live and are helping others by your life.

Heather said...

Praying that God's peace will flood your mind so that fear can have no place. She is absolutely beautiful!

Heather
Charleston, SC

Kayla said...

What a beautiful little miracle! I'm so happy to hear that no new blisters have formed and that you're doing well in helping the old ones heal...you're in my thoughts and prayers and I'm just so excited that she's doing so well.

Carrie said...

Praying for you. She is precious as can be. Does she have red hair?? It looks like it in the most recent picture. Congrats on such a sweet baby.

Ronda said...

So glad to hear that you are all doing good! Thanks for the update!

Karen said...

Kristy,

Hope is so beautiful! I am praying for her and for your whole family. Your feelings are quite understandable, but I am praying for God to bring healing to little Hopes body and Peace and Comfort to your heart. Please keep us updated on how things are going.

Blessings,
Karen

our family said...

I love the picture what a content face almost smiling. Praying for you to get rest. So glad God has blessed you with such a wonderful caring husband and that he is off of work right now and helping take care of you all. Praying that you are able to continue to enjoy each precious moment with sweet Hope and trust that God has blessed you with her and that you will have lots of time to watch her grow up strong and healthy. Praying for her healing and praising God that no new blisters have developed. Also praying that dressing changes get a little easier and are not to painful for her and you and Howard.
Hugs and Prayers
Rachel in PA

Bec74 said...

Praying for baby Hope (I LOVE her name,my oldest's name is Charity)...As I pray for Hope I have such peace...I pray you to feel that peace as well....Good job Momma,she's beautiful!!!!

Rachel said...

I am praying for you and your baby girl. I honestly have no idea how you handle all this, so I know the Lord is with you and strengthening you! I will continue to get on my knees and pray.

Rachel said...

I am on my knees praying for your family, your heart, your strength, your faith, and especially your baby girl.

Susan said...

Praying for you, Kristy! Hope is absolutely beautiful. What a blessing she is to your family. I'm certain that your feelings of doubt and fear are completely normal. God will prove these fears to be wrong and you will slowly recognize that your deep faith will surface when you begin to feel like you do. Take care of yourself and thank God for wonderful husbands! :

Susan in NC

Andrea said...

Wow! One week already! Thank you for posting the picture. She is one delicious baby! So sweet!

Rachel Dominguez said...

I am so happy for you. You should feel so blessed. I found your blog thru another and I read about baby Jonah everyday, and the best words I have for you is that it could be worse. She is just simply beautiful, she is in clothes and looking so normal and healthy. Pray with me that that continues. I pray everday, several times a day for sweet baby Jonah and I am so happy to see that Hope is not as bad and not suffering as bad.

Join me in prayer for both baby Hope and sweet, sweet Jonah.

Rachel (lees summit, MO)
lovefor9.blogspot.com
luvfor9@gmail.com

ShEiLa @ Somebody Loved said...

She looks so cute and I could snuggle her in heart beat if I lived nearby.

What a precious baby girl.

Yeah. I actually didn't get booted off. Wha-hoo. in ref to the e.mail I sent.

ToOdLeS.

Shelby said...

she's amazing. thank you for sharing her with us!

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

oh congratulations on your precious, beautiful HOPE!! She is just precious!!!
IT has been a long time since I wrote but I had been checking in to see how you guys & GALS were all doing.
Love Marie

Just Me said...

She is SO sweet! An answer to prayers, and perfect in every way! Continued prayers to all of you.

Hugs,
Amanda

Melanie said...

In all the other pictures, I thought she looked like Luke, but in this one I can really see Ben! just my two cents...
Praising God for the continual healing that he is working in her life, and remember...no one ever has a good thought in the middle of the night. If that's when the doubts come in, be prepared and realize that morning (and HOPE!!) will come!

Miche said...

I just can't get over her beautiful and perfect she is! Continued thoughts and prayers coming your way for no new blisters on little Hope :)

Katie said...

Hope is just thee cutest baby! So sweet. I like how her big brother calls her by her first and middle names. My daughter does that with her baby brother as well. Continuing to pray for baby hope and your entire family.

The Whalen Family said...

Kristy, I can not get over how absolutely beautiful and perfect Hope is! I am so incredibly happy for you guys. Her name is absolutely perfect! I have numerous people praying for y'all as well as including you in my personal daily prayers. I have actually just gotten around to catching up on reading your blog. I have been very behind. October behind, to be exact! I know you are still learning and growing but, I am SO amazed by your faith. Your insights give me a much needed wake up call. I feel so blessed to able to be able follow you in your family's journey. You all have such a special place in my heart! Thank you for allowing us to be a part of it all!

Lots of love!

*Tiffany!*

Buckles Family said...

Hope is absolutely beautiful!! What an amazing blessing. Thank you for sharing your family with us!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

She is the sweetest and cutest......and she is HOPE....I love her name...

Will continue to pray.....

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

What a sweet girl you have. thinking of you while you wait on those test results.
Happy one week Hope!

Mama10EE said...

Kristy and Family--

Hope is absolutely breathtaking. She is truly God's Grace in her sweet little face. I am so glad you are healing physically and that no new blisters have been found. Still praying for your entire beautiful family.

mrosev14 said...

She is beautiful.

Don't keep freaking yourself out with the worse case scenario, just love her and enjoy her. You're in my prayers.

Carla said...

Congratulations on your new little pink bundle of joy. She is beautiful. I will be praying that her sores heal up and that it can just be a fluke reaction to something and not something more sinister. You've gone through so much already. God will give you strength to face whatever is ahead for you and Hope. Keep soaking her up and basking in the joy of your new baby :)

lesserweevil said...

do you know yet for certain whether Hope has EB or not? Please do state this on your blog as every time I come on I wonder whether she does or not... hoping for good news... LW

Megan said...

I just wanted to share that I enjoy the tone of your writing. You are very real with what you say but you have a hope and a positive trusting tone to your writing even though you have been through more than any parent should endure. I appreciate how you share your concern but at the same time know how blessed you are with sweet little Hope. May the Lord richly bless you as he did Job after he went through so many trials.

malette-foreveryoung said...

I am praying for you daily.
I am go to read Howard's blog

Kenzie said...

Love you precious friend... and I'm praying so much! You guys are never far from my mind as I think of Hope and all that is swirling around in your mind. Praying for your heart!! I love you!

Oh, and by the way, Hope and Faith Clare have ALL THE SAME Carter's pj's... yellow, green and blue with cherries!! SO FUN :)

Jenn said...

Pardon my french, but how freakin' cute is that picture of hope?!?!?!?!

Makes you just want to grab hold and never let go!!

Thanks, for sharing!