As we have contemplated foster care and gone through each step, my mind just keeps going back to the mothers of these sweet kids. My heart breaks for a world so broken that it is tough for some mothers to care for their children as they struggle with mental illness, abuse, addiction, and poverty. I would sit in class envisioning having foster children in our home and being a blessing not only to the children, but also maybe a support to their mothers. As a mother who has lost two children of her own, I have NO desire to see another mother endure such a thing.
Several months ago I was put in contact with a woman who was pregnant and trying to make decisions regarding adoption of her unborn son. We spoke and enjoyed talking to each other and she asked about the possibility of us adopting her baby. I was stunned and didn't really think a lot of it and then we kind of fell out of touch. I continued to think of her and pray for her and her baby. I genuinely grew to love her and wanted the best for her and her son.
I felt like the Lord had brought her into my life for a reason. I wasn't sure if it was because we'd one day become family through her sweet son or if my friendship with her would teach me more about what moms like her are going through. Either way, I was certain she had already been such a blessing to me showing me that any preconceived notions I might have had were unfair. I felt the Lord keep prompting me to send an encouraging text or just to intentionally pray for her. He had opened my eyes to her world and I could not just look away. She quit calling to chat and I knew she had signed on with an adoption agency and I just continued to pray and send the occasional text.
Then, the Saturday before Asher's birthday she called again. Her son had been born. He was born February 10th and weighed 7.1 pounds. She was calling to say she was sorry for falling out of touch, and she asked if I'd still be willing to raise her son, Jacob. He was born with some special needs and due to the circumstances, the adoption that had been planned out could not be continued. She was not comfortable with the adoptive parents once they met and they were not open to the possibility of a special needs child.
We talked for a while. We both cried and rejoiced in the gift of sweet baby Jacob. I talked to Howard and he agreed that if it was God's will, we'd do what we could to make Jacob our son and keep his mom as involved as she'd like to be. I panicked, if I am being honest. Over the past few weeks I have seen Satan at work trying to discourage me and cause me to grow weary. Yet the Lord keeps whispering, "Child, step out in obedience. You know what to do. ACT!" and then Satan says "You are nuts. Don't take the risk"
And here we are....Jacob is doing well and I talk to his mom almost daily. His mom is finding her way and we are moving forward with the adoption. I spoke with the hospital yesterday and we are REALLY under a time crunch here...Jacob could be released from the hospital within the next 2-4 weeks and we have got to get our homestudy rewritten for private adoption and all of the legal work done and have travel arrangements made. All of these things cost more money than we realized but we know God is able. We know He loves Jacob even more than we do and He holds him in the palm of His mighty hand.
We believe this ginger haired boy belongs with us and so does his mom. Would you open your eyes and see this sweet boy. Would you pray for his brave and loving mother? We know that this is important to God. Would you seek Him and see how He might have YOU act? We are working on a fundraiser/Chinese auction, maybe you could attend or donate an item for auction? Maybe you could pray intentionally for all of the details and the best for everyone involved. Maybe you have adopted and have some advice to lend. Maybe you could spread the word and share Jacob's story with your friends. Maybe you can donate money (feel free to click the donate link to the right or email me at kbolte01@gmail.com and I will send you our address) .
I feel overwhelmed and humbled that God might have written us into Jacob's story and when I start to allow the feelings to overcome me, I kind of want to just hide and find rest, and yet I feel Him pushing me...to fight...to show just how serious I am about the ministry He has set before me...and as I step out in faith and obedience I'd be honored if you'd join me in prayer.
We firmly believe God is calling. This is NOT about us. This is about the sweet boy pictured above. He has already had a really rough start. He is God's child. You know what to do....ACT! :)
5 comments:
Adoption is a wonderful thing. Open adoption is amazing. We have two adopted daughters. While both are "special needs", the youngest one is very special needs. We didnt know it when we adopted her and have been asked many times if we would have still adopted her if we had known. My reply...we didnt adopt her because we thought she was perfect, we adopted her because God thought she was perfect for us.
He was right then and He is right, now. Many prayers have been said for your family over the years and they will continue.
As you know we adopted my grandchildren. Which meant going against my own child who gave them birth. I asked God alot what I should do and all I kept hearing was adopt, I knew it would hurt her and it hurt me at the same time even though I knew i was doing right by the little ones. My daughter did not speak to me for 4 or 5 years. She called one day and started to talk and has since then told me we did the right thing. I told her that the kids know she is their birth mother and I am Mom. The little boy you are getting is a gift from God to you because he knows you both can handle this and give this child the best life. Congrats to the whole family.
Praying the God continues to guide and bless you, your family, this amazing Momma that has opened her heart to share this special gift, and fantastic "different-abled" boy. No words or advise can lessen the pain you have had with your beautiful sons in heaven but I believe that if one moment in time were altered then this little man would not have the opportunity to have you in his life. God bless you and always remember to FROG (Forever Rely On God)
We are the parents of two adopted children, both with special needs (ABS, FAS), adopted domestically. (They are now adults)We also have 3 bio kids. On my way home from work, I attempted to count my adopted nieces and nephews - many. My boss, a therapist, has three adopted children. My BFF has an adopted child - so adoption has been a popular/natural option in the lives of people around us.
I'm going to be honest here, I am concerned that at this point you need to solicit funds. Is this usual now? If this little guy has special needs, as do many of the above mentioned situations, finances may be scrutinized when they do the homestudy. I know we had to have proof of income, assets, etc.
Our adoptions were fairly open although the parents did not press the issue. Our one child has little contact with her family and our son has contact with his one sibling. We were always honest with the kids about their biological parents.
I wish you the best and you proceed. Six years ago today our taste of the NICU began - triplet grandchildren. I know how tough it must be to be out of state and long to hold this little guy in your arms.
SO proud of you, K! As we wait for the call on those two kiddos who we were called about who needed a foster home I think about how WE need to be Jesus' hands and feet to the orphans.
It's one of his highest callings.
SO excited about your to-be-son's future! :)
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