Monday, March 2, 2009

Asher's Birthday Weekend

I had a really hard time the week leading up to Asher's birthday, but I have to say that though I still wish he were here for his birthday, the weekend was blessed.

Friday I was still struggling a bit and I was cleaning the house like a mad woman. I looked into the living room where Luke and Ben were playing and saw them jumping on the couch. Just as I got the words "Boys, please use the couch for sitting and not jumping, someone is going to get hur..." out of my mouth I hear that sickening thud followed by Benjamin wailing. I ran to him and picked him up. He had jumped and hit his head on the TV stand. He immediately had a golf ball sized goose egg and bruise. I got some ice and dialed the pediatrician. I spoke with a nurse who said that most likely as long as he didn't lose consciousness and wasn't vomiting he would be just fine. She had me check his pupils and a few other things and gave me a list of concussion signs to observe him for for the next 48 hours. She said if anything changed or I felt uneasy just to bring him in. He seemed fine and was playing fifteen minutes later.

We continued to watch him for "signs of concussion". I basically sat watching him the rest of the day and didn't get another thing done. I was terrified to leave his side. Sometimes I swear that God gave us Ben to keep us on our toes and grounded. We can never become too consumed with grief or anything else for that matter :-) . He is such a blessing. Anyway, that night we took the boys to Disney on Ice. Benjamin has this crazy Mickey Mouse obsession and it was so much fun watching him watch the characters dancing on the ice. It actually brought me to tears a few times seeing how excited both boys were. We got home late and tucked both sleepy boys in bed so that we could discuss what we would do for Asher's birthday. I wasn't sure what my heart could handle and I felt God nudging me to celebrate Asher and the beautiful family He has given me, not the one I wish I had. He has given me two amazing boys in Heaven and two here on earth and we needed to celebrate Asher as the family we are.

We came up with pretty much nothing and decided just to go to bed. Then in the morning we decided to look into a few options we had been tossing around and to make a long story short a great friend made reservations for us at a local hotel with a pool. We headed to that hotel Saturday afternoon. We got there, settled in and got the kids ready to head to the pool, we had such a great time as a family swimming, eating pizza in bed and watching movies. The boys kept saying that "Asher's birthday was the most fun birthday ever!" They were so exhausted from swimming that they immediately fell asleep in their bed which gave Howard and I some time to just be together and watch movies and snack. It was so nice and so relaxing. We had nothing to focus on except eachother and it was really great. (aside from the part where I had to call Poison Control for Ben because he got into a roll of TUMS while I was getting my PJs on. Can't leave that kid for thirty seconds! :-))

Sunday we decided not to go to church. I was really struggling and I knew it would be too much for me. So many people that love us so much and I was just a gushy mess so I knew I would just bawl with every hug and warm wish. So we slept in, took another dip in the pool and then headed to a favorite pizza joint to meet a few friends for lunch. It was nice to have some good pizza with good friends and have a little birthday cake! Then we headed home for a rest and then had some other great friends over for dinner and cake. We also sent some blankies into the NICU of the hospital where Asher was born in his memory. (Thanks Lisa for making those for us)It was fun and so special to know that so many were thinking of our boy and continue to think of him.

We were not able to do a balloon release as we wanted to do, because it was a blizzard that day and anyone who has tried to release a balloon in the snow knows that as the snow collects on the balloon it sinks...we didn't think it would be very uplifting to take balloons out and watch them go up and then dive back to earth. :-)

I have to say that Sunday was not as hard as I had anticipated...truly the week leading up was much worse for me. But I guess that is true with most things...the anticipation is often worse than the actual event. Asher's birthday was perfect, we were surrounded by those who love us and love him. I have been so overwhelmed by the compassion shown to us over the past week. We have received many comments, emails, calls, cards, gifts and we cannot even begin to express our thanks. God was truly present and working through so many of you and words cannot even begin to show the gratitude we feel for the grace that has been extended to us.

The kind of cool thing is that the cards and notes are still straggling in. Over the past week or so each time I visit the mailbox I get a sweet surprise from someone else who has been touched by our Happy boy. :-)

I do have lots of pictures, but cannot seem to find that darn cord that attaches my camera to my computer so I will update the post as soon as I find it with the photos of the day! :)


Katie said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and was praying for you guys last weekend. I'm so glad that your celebration went well. It sounds like it was a wonderful way to celebrate Asher's birthday.

Just Me said...

How wonderful to read the words "Asher's birthday was perfect"! And how much fun that your mailbox has been filled with things other than bills (thanks everyone for keeping my dad the mail man in business! ha ha!). Hope you can find your cord soon so you can put up some pictures :o)

Hugs and prayers,

Mama10EE said...

It sounds like you had the perfect birthday for Asher. I know he was playing in that pool with the boys! And I am glad that Ben was OK! What a daredevil!!

We went to Disney on Ice on Saturday the 21st and loved it as well.

jendakerr said...

I was glad to be a part of it and also just want to say that I feel priveledged to be a part of your lives. I've said it before and I'll say it till I'm blue in the face.."I heart the Boltes!"

bri said...

I am so pleased that the day was peaceful! God is Great like that!!! I know the feeling of the icky anticipation and then the day of... complete peace! so empowering and uplifting. and overwhelming to boot!


Val, Brax and Harper said...

not sure how i found your blog, but i have been reading thru it for a few days now. i have a 1 1/2 year old healthy son, but just had a miscarriage last week at 11 weeks and they suspect a chromosome problem (they are testing the "tissue" is that what they call it??) i have been thinking, what would i do if it isn't just a fluke thing, what if i have another baby that has fatal problems, would i terminate it, or how could i go on if it is BORN and THEN i lose it.... all those what ifs... then i read your blog. for what it's worth to you, you have given me such a peace about the unknowns of having a baby. you are living proof of survival after loss. before i lost the baby i was laying in bed one nite worrying about how i would deal with the loss of a child (one that had been born, not miscarried--i never thought that would happen to me, ironically!), imagining the feelings that you describe so vividly in your blog, and i was literally shaking, sobbing, if someone had seen me they would have thought i had ACTUALLY lost a child. but something about your words just gives me peace. peace in knowing that whatever happens, it's worth the pain just to be their momma. so i want to thank you for your openness and honesty. i am looking forward to following your journey into mothering a GIRL!!!

Hilary said...

Thank you so much for the well-wishes on my means a lot to me! I hope your pregnancy continues to go smoothly and that you are feeling well!!
I am also very happy that you and your family had a good birthday celebration for Asher!
I think of you often and pray for you and your family.
Many blessings to you!