Saturday, November 15, 2008

In a Moment

It was on this day, November 15 last year that our world, our hopes our dreams changed in just a moment's time. We went in for our anatomy ultrasound hoping to find out healthy boy or girl, and found out boy, possibly not healthy. We were sent to Pittsburgh the following week. It just got me thinking this morning how all it takes is a moment for life to change completely. We went into that ultrasound confident in the fact that God would certainly NOT ask us to walk that road again. This baby would be fine. We had no doubt. In a moment we learned how wrong we were.

Asher Joseph Bolte

In a moment two lines appeared on a HPT

In a moment I became a mom again

In a moment hoping and dreaming began

In a moment our families began to hope and dream

In a moment our boys became brothers

In a moment we learned we would have a fourth SON!

In a moment our hopes and dreams would have to change

In a moment our fourth son came into this world

In a moment he changed our lives

In a moment he changed the lives of many others

In a moment he returned to Jesus

In a moment we were left broken and shattered

In a moment God provides grace and comfort

In a moment two lines appeared on a HPT

Everything can change in a moment, yet God NEVER does. Though the pain is still real, there is comfort in knowing One Thing will always be constant.

It is crazy to stand where I stand and look back at the unfolding of the past few years. After losing Isaac I can say that we were shocked to find out that Benjamin was on the way and though Ben could NEVER replace the Isaac shaped whole in our hearts, he brought hope, he brought healing, he showed us that life was going to go on and that we could continue to live even with the hurt.

I am beyond thankful for Benjamin and what he brings to our family. He is our "funny guy" and he has brought more laughter and joy to our home than I imagined possible. Each of our children bring something unique to the family. Luke is our loving kind hearted always wants to cuddle guy. It goes without saying what Isaac and Asher have brought to our family.

I stand here, carrying the baby brother sister of Luke, Isaac, Benjamin, and Asher and I know that this child will certainly not replace anything that has been lost. Each of these children holds his own special place that could never be taken by anyone else. Our Asher sized hole cannot be filled either. I do have hope though, hope that we will again hold a baby, get to bring a baby home and though that does not change the moments of the past, it gives hope to the moments of the future.

I am so hopeful and yet I know better than ever that we are promised nothing. We have today and for today I am going to revel in the fact that God has blessed our family once again with a gift unlike any other.


Elizabeth Fanco said...

Beautifully written! I would type this out and frame it, or put it on the inside of your Bible, as a constant reminder of how He has been working in your lives. CONGRATS on the GIRL!!!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for your saddness but I rejoice in your newest blessing! I am praying for good news with this pregnancy. Thinking of you. Marcie RN

Anonymous said...

Ok so I hadn't read your previous posting and I was very confused about the last HPT. I am sure today brings a ton of mixed emotions. Congratulations on your new little one!! We will be praying for you and the emotions that come with all of this!!

Christa @ Quintooples said...

Thank you. Tears are streaming down my face! That was beautiful.

I always felt that those 2 lines brought the most amazing feeling in the world.

I am prasing God this morning for my many many blessings, and trying not to worry about what's coming next. I think that's something that all mom's need to remember. Rejoice in the present, and let Him take care of the past and the future. I am *trying* to remember that!!!

Kirsten said...

Sweet Sister - I'm so happy for you and the precious life that is growing inside of you. God is good. He will be with you each day as Satan tries to replace your faith and joy with fear. But Jesus will be your strength! I pray for peace, comfort and hopeful anticipation for the beautiful future God has is store for your family. I can't wait to meet the little one. Do you think, maybe a girl? I'm thrilled for you!!!

My fingers are crossed - I would love to be next. :o)

Chrissy said...

Phenomenal post! Thinking of you, as always!

Anxious AF said...

What a blessing to have hope!

Melanie said...

praying that the happy, joyful moments far outweigh the bad! (I agree, beautiful post!!) Love, MELANIE

Chris and Emily said...

oh, so happy for you guys. praying fevently for Baby Bolte #5!!! Thanks for already sharing his/her life with us!

Just Me said...

I should have known better than to read this at work...

Thanks again for the reminder that each moment is one to be treasured. What a beautifully written post.

Praying for you,

Laura said...

Beautiful post! I am so happy for you. There is no replacing the joy and sorrow you have experienced but there is hope for more joy in the future in the little one you carry and the inspiration you provide for all of us!

Melissa Dovel said...

I wish you could see the smile on my face!!! Sorry I missed the past few posts and its funny cause I think I commented on your "suprise" post that the title made me think you were expecting and that was a week ago. Praying for this tiny blessing to be perfect in every way. I know that no child can replace another. BUT.... I do praise the Lord that you do have your children here on earth to love and hold.

Praying each and every day!!!
love and lots of hugs:)

Debbie said...

Thank you so much for you words. Congratulations on the new one to come. Praying for you and your family comfort.

Chelle said...

Congratulations! Each moment you have experienced is truly your moment...the good, the bad and the ugly! They are all there for a reason and God has given these moments as he planned them...even if it wasn't the way any of us want them! Be strong my are part of a wonderful family!

Laura said...

So a moment you will see your boys again too! Praying you feel Him holding you today.

Angela said...

I saw the fifth child in the header a few days ago and kept refreshing your page waiting for an 'announcement'. Then I wasn't on for awhile and am so happy for you to find out number 5 is truly on the way. Congrats!! I know it is already past the 15th, but I am praying for you anyway as you grieve reaching the point where a year ago your journey began.

Devin said...

"In a moment, you befriended someone who really needed to hear your words."

I came here once. I came here during the darkest part of my life, and I read of encouragement, I read of faith, I read of trust, I read of a mommy who had put everything she had into Christ and the life he wanted her to live. I read what you had to say, and knew I would be back with each new post.

I am thankful, each and every time I visit here, for you, Kristy, and for each one of your precious sons. But I am especially grateful for Asher--for, without him, I would never have been able to befriend a wonderful mommy with so many things I need to hear on a daily basis.

Thank you, my friend--and thank you, too, boys.

Devin :-)

Jesse said...

Congratulations on the new little life God is growing in your womb!! I pray that He brings your family peace, hope, and JOY through this baby, and that you are blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby to hold and kiss every day. Lots of prayers, friend.

Unknown said...


Praying for you this week and over the health of your new miracle growing inside of you!

Hugs and blessings,

Angie said...

Beautiful post, Christy! It is my privilege to be able to pray for you and this new, precious baby. You are close to my heart!

Cheryl F. said...

Congratulations, I am so happy for you. I have followed your journey and been so touched by your faithfulnees to the Lord and I know HE will do great things for you. This is amazing, I will be in prayer for you all things will work out as HE has planned.

Cheryl F

I'm Melissa said...

I have been a long time follower of your blog and I am so amazed at your great faith. You have encouraged me during my time of not being able to concieve, but I know my blessing is right around the corner.
I just wanted to say congragulations on your soon to be new baby! I am so happy for your family, Praise the Lord!

Unknown said...

Absolutely beautiful post, Kristy! So touching...