Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Remembering During The Holidays

For those who have lost a loved one, a child, a parent, friend, spouse, etc the holidays can be an especially difficult time. It is often a time where we think about that loved one and how we had hoped to spend the holidays with them.

There are some things we do in our home to keep our boys with us at the holidays and I thought I would use this opportunity to share them with you and if you have any traditions or ideas, I would LOVE to hear them.

So, here are a few of the things we have found helpful....

~ We have ornaments we get each year for EACH of our kids so we still get ones for Isaac and Asher too

~One of the hardest things for me after Isaac died was filling out Christmas cards. It felt wrong not to include him in the signature. So....we for the past few years have done cards from the March of Dimes. They include a little card that says that money was donated to the March of Dimes and on that card I write in memory of ... and he is then included.

~Each year we "adopt" a child Isaac (and now Asher also)'s age. We purchase Christmas gifts for them and donate them to a family who needs help providing gifts at Christmas. This way, though we are not shopping for them, it fills that void and helps someone else.

I think there are a few more but that is what I can think of at the moment. Please feel free to share your ideas!


Story of our Life said...

Very good ideas.

The last few years we have done the same thing with buying gifts for a child similiar in age to Corry. Last year the kids were adament with 'choosing' a childs name off the holiday tree that was the same age as they were. So we gave in and let them do that. Then dh and I choose a young man who was Cor's age.

This year it is a very meek in spending and we will not be doing that. (Well, most likely not).

Jaime said...

Hi--I recently found your blog and you story has touched me greatly. You are a strong godly woman! Something we had done--a one time thing that we use every year--not exactly a tradition, but we made an ornament that we put a copy of our baby girl's footprints inside. It is a clear ball ornament so you can see them. It's precious to me every year when we get it out and put it on the tree.

Erin said...

The March of Dimes cards are a great idea. I always feel the same way when sending cards. We have a stocking for our Isaac and he has ornaments on the tree too.

zanesmommy said...

This being my first Christmas, I don't know how I am going to do. In fact I knew that I wanted to get an ornament, which I got and it was way more difficult than I ever thought it would be. We are also going to give a gift to Rancho 3M orphange in Micah's name. This way we are able to know Micah's name is remembered. I liked what another mommy did for her baby, which was put a Christmas Tree on his grave. Well, I asked hubby to put lights on Micah's tree. I hope that this helps me feel as though Micah is still part of Christmas. I know that I lost it when I found his ornament and then again when I found the ornament that was last years, a pregnant bear.
Praying for you this Christmas. Thank you for your prayers.

Melissa said...

I love the traditions you have that keep Isaac and Asher in your holidays.

Christa @ Quintooples said...

I have a special ornament for each of my miscarried babies.

It's something I do privately, miscarriages can be so intangible to other people...almost as if the baby never existed (of course...with the way people view babies in the womb it's no wonder that some people don't feel that they count! It makes my blood boil!). That's the attitude of some of my family, so we really don't talk about them...other than saying that someday, when we are in Heaven, we will have 10 children! (How awesome will that be?!?!?)

Heather said...

What a wonderful way to remember your little angels.

Lisa said...


Thank you for sharing this. I especially love the tradition of adopting children the ages of your Isaac and Asher. What an absolutely beautiful way to honor and remember your boys.


Michelle said...

We have several special traditions to include Benjamin in our Christmas celebration.
~He has a stocking just like his brothers. We keep a basket nearby filled with paper hearts. Whenever we do something kind for someone in the family, we put a heart in Benjamin's stocking. Or we can write a note to him and put it in (or draw a picture, etc). It's a gift to him because he wants us to be a family forever, and doing loving things will help us reach that glorious goal.
~We go to the cemetary on Christmas Eve, and sing "Once Within a Lowly Stable" thinking about our precious baby and that Most Precious Baby who grew up to make it possible for us to hold him again
~We do a secret act of service in Benjamin's honor.

Steve+Marie Douglas said...

I don't have any ideas at this time but- I really like yours. Steve has decorated Elijah's garden with a some Christmas lights :) so our house is lit & so is his garden.

Becky said...

One of my favorite blogs is Faithfulfroggers. They lost a triplet to a rare form of cancer when he was 6 years old. They do something special with a Christmas stocking in Jacob's memory and then those gifts are donated. If interested, you can read more on Heather's blog