Changed...

The Spirit of the LORD will come upon you in power, and you will prophesy with them; and you will be changed into a different person. 1 Samuel 10:5-7

Today I have done a bit of reflecting. I have given great thought to the person I was even five years ago and the person I am now. I would say that five years ago I knew about God, I didn't know Him. I had religion, but not a relationship. As I look back and think about the person I was during those times it is remarkable to me to compare the way I am turning out. It is funny really. Things I SWORE I would never do, I am finding myself doing.

Today after getting Ben down for his nap, I went outside to the garden Howard had planted to pick some of the veggies that were ready for harvest! As I was picking peppers with Luke I thought back to a conversation I had with a friend years ago. I remember the conversation vividly. She had asked if we planted a garden at our house, I replied with a chuckle and said "Isn't that why we have stores?" Why on earth would I want to work so hard for something I could go to the store and buy? It made no sense to me.

It is interesting to me that as I have become closer with God, I have taken delight in the miracle of planting a seed. As Luke and I picked the vegetables from the garden today we talked about how amazing it is that you plant a seed and you get such great vegetables. Luke was so excited about the garden he shook with glee. He had helped plant these things and was now reaping what he sowed. He proudly ate a pepper right off of the plant exclaiming how it was the best pepper he had ever eaten.

Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us. Psalm 67:5-7

Our bountiful harvest

We are blessed. It was the coolest feeling to bring in armloads of food that we had grown for our family. It was amazing to behold the goodness of God. He had blessed us with tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, squash, banana peppers, and zucchini. I held the vegetables in my hand and marveled at the idea that this good food came from a simple seed, that God in all of his creativity had conjured up the idea that we would plant a seed in the ground, care for it and food would come from it! Amazing! God is so good and so present in everything!

Another change that I have found taking place in me this year is my thought on schooling. Don't get me wrong, I am a teacher, my husband is a teacher and I think education is SUPER important. Knowledge is vital. But as the year draws near for my own child to go to school I find myself questioning things I swore I would never question. I would NEVER be one of "those" moms. The kind who is over involved or picks her child's teacher or (gasp) home schools.

Luke will be 5 in August. Yes, he could go to Kindergarten this year, but we had decided long ago not to send him until he turned 6. He is a super smart kid and so capable of handling it, but I just see no hurry. As a teacher I could always tell which kids were the younger and though they were often very bright, it often caught up to them when adolescence hit. As far as I can see, it cannot hurt to keep Luke and enjoy him one more year. He will have 13 years to go to school.

I also always swore I would never be one of those "homeschooling moms" I worked in a public school, Howard works in a public school and it was good enough for both of us so it will certainly be good enough for our kids, and I am not saying that that home school is the path we are choosing, but as the time has come I completely see the appeal, I completely understand why it is so important to many families and I can fully appreciate that. I now can fully understand how when done right, homeschooling could be an amazing blessing for the entire family. What a rich experience that could be for all who are involved! That said, I also see immense importance in school.

I have wrestled for weeks about sending Luke to preschool. I know it is only preschool, but anymore it is about the same as choosing a college. :-) After much prayer and deliberation, I have decided at least for this year, Luke will be staying home. I will school him in whatever he needs here. He will get hands on life experience with me. We will still be able to live by our fly by the seat of our pants schedule and when the mood strikes we will up and go to the zoo or go play in a creek. We love that life, we love being together and I am coming to learn there is great value in that. Next year we will re-evaluate and see what we think is best for then.

I have already experienced other moms thinking I am nutty for skipping preschool, thinking I will put Luke at a disadvantage, my view is not really a popular one and I am okay with that. Kids just don't get to be kids anymore. I am certainly not saying preschool is a bad thing...I just don't think it is for us. I am not ready to share my Luke just yet. :-) I have some more equipping to do before I send him into the world! All families are different and no one knows what a child needs better than a parent, I need to learn to trust my instinct as a mom, we all make the decisions that are best for our own children and for some that is school and others maybe not.

I just think it is interesting that as I become more in tune to God's prompting and am going deeper in relationship with him that my thoughts and views are changing drastically, I am literally becoming a different person, a person I like a whole lot better. There is such beauty in growing a garden and growing children. They are both such gifts, such amazing miracles. I just want to revel in every moment, and enjoy the good gifts my Father has given.