A More Serious Note

It is true, over the past week, we have celebrated our baby girl, accepted many sweet gifts for her, prepared her room and even went so far as to purchase her car seat. We have been letting go of fear and embracing the hope that comes with the idea of bringing home a healthy baby.

As most of you know yesterday I was supposed to return to Pittsburgh for another scan before the baby comes. In all honesty the idea of the road trip was daunting to me. I had to find a sitter for the boys for the day, and find someone once again to take me since we are on only one vehicle and Howard needed it to get to work. Now, don't misunderstand me, we had several offers for help, I am always amazed at how many dear people are willing to help us out anytime we need it. It was more than that though. I had given it much thought and really just wasn't sure it was worth all of the effort and energy it would cost our little family.

So, on Monday when I saw my doctor here, I asked if he thought it was still necessary. He listened to baby girl's heartbeat, said the word "perfect" and looked at me and said. No. He said that he would still like to do another growth scan but that I could just do it there in the office next week if that would be easier. I felt relieved and agreed to the ultrasound next Tuesday. He said that he did not expect to see anything we hadn't already seen and that I should call the moment I have a concern about her movement or anything at all and he was off to deliver another baby.

We went right from that appointment to Babies R Us to get our car seat so that we can bring our sweet baby home. This simple act was a huge leap of faith for us. We were putting it off for quite a while and thanks to the doctors response and the gift cards we received at our shower, we no longer had any excuse not to do it.

Then yesterday hit, and my mind started to become overwhelmed by lies and doubt. The baby was less active, yet still meeting her requirements for kick counts. Every what if ran through my mind, fear began creeping back in. The thought that because I chose to skip this ultrasound my baby might suffer something unseen kept coming into view. I called the doctor. He assured me that if she was moving at least ten times an hour that she was likely fine but that if I would feel better to come in and sit on the monitors for a while he would be glad to put my mind at ease. I knew she was fine. I knew I had to take a stand against these lies, fears and doubts and so I glanced around the house at the Bible verses strategically placed for such times, I repeated a few and I just began to clean. :-) Cleaning is my therapy. I LOVE a clean house.

So, friends, we are in the home stretch. My c section is scheduled for June 3. That is at this point about a month away and if my track record holds true, she may come before that date as the furthest I ever made it in pregnancy was with Ben at 37 weeks. Things are going well. We are so excited and praising the Lord for each day he grants us with each of our children. We are blessed. We covet your prayers right now as we are still fighting against fear. Thank you all for continuing to love us and pray for us. We can't wait to introduce you to the newest Bolte Baby!