Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A More Serious Note

It is true, over the past week, we have celebrated our baby girl, accepted many sweet gifts for her, prepared her room and even went so far as to purchase her car seat. We have been letting go of fear and embracing the hope that comes with the idea of bringing home a healthy baby.

As most of you know yesterday I was supposed to return to Pittsburgh for another scan before the baby comes. In all honesty the idea of the road trip was daunting to me. I had to find a sitter for the boys for the day, and find someone once again to take me since we are on only one vehicle and Howard needed it to get to work. Now, don't misunderstand me, we had several offers for help, I am always amazed at how many dear people are willing to help us out anytime we need it. It was more than that though. I had given it much thought and really just wasn't sure it was worth all of the effort and energy it would cost our little family.

So, on Monday when I saw my doctor here, I asked if he thought it was still necessary. He listened to baby girl's heartbeat, said the word "perfect" and looked at me and said. No. He said that he would still like to do another growth scan but that I could just do it there in the office next week if that would be easier. I felt relieved and agreed to the ultrasound next Tuesday. He said that he did not expect to see anything we hadn't already seen and that I should call the moment I have a concern about her movement or anything at all and he was off to deliver another baby.

We went right from that appointment to Babies R Us to get our car seat so that we can bring our sweet baby home. This simple act was a huge leap of faith for us. We were putting it off for quite a while and thanks to the doctors response and the gift cards we received at our shower, we no longer had any excuse not to do it.

Then yesterday hit, and my mind started to become overwhelmed by lies and doubt. The baby was less active, yet still meeting her requirements for kick counts. Every what if ran through my mind, fear began creeping back in. The thought that because I chose to skip this ultrasound my baby might suffer something unseen kept coming into view. I called the doctor. He assured me that if she was moving at least ten times an hour that she was likely fine but that if I would feel better to come in and sit on the monitors for a while he would be glad to put my mind at ease. I knew she was fine. I knew I had to take a stand against these lies, fears and doubts and so I glanced around the house at the Bible verses strategically placed for such times, I repeated a few and I just began to clean. :-) Cleaning is my therapy. I LOVE a clean house.

So, friends, we are in the home stretch. My c section is scheduled for June 3. That is at this point about a month away and if my track record holds true, she may come before that date as the furthest I ever made it in pregnancy was with Ben at 37 weeks. Things are going well. We are so excited and praising the Lord for each day he grants us with each of our children. We are blessed. We covet your prayers right now as we are still fighting against fear. Thank you all for continuing to love us and pray for us. We can't wait to introduce you to the newest Bolte Baby!

25 comments:

Laurie in Ca. said...

I am walking right beside you and fighting off any fears with you Kristy. Satan hates the word perfect, hates seeing you step out in faith and hope, hates the goodness of God that you share here with us, he hates it all. It comes as no surprise to us all that he will be doing his damndest to plant fears and doubts in your heart. He's messing with the wrong people and your prayer warriors are fighting this fight with you. Keep stepping forward Kristy and we will fill in the gap behind you. Let your heart be filled with hope and joy from the Lord. You are His. Love you and can't wait to meet this little girl when the time is right. Perfect. I love this word.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Kirsten said...

Just checking in on you. Will continue to pray for peace. She is going to be beautiful. And so loved!!

our family said...

Praying for peace and hope for you right now. Praying for a hedge of protection around you that does not allow satan to steal the joy you have as you anticipate the birth of your daughter.
Hugs and Prayers
Rachel in PA

Amanda said...

I admire your perseverance! Hang in there. You don't know me, but I'm praying for you. I admire your strength and faith and I'm certain that God is going to take care of all of you!
http://inoliviasroom.blogspot.com

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

I am so excited!

Trish said...

I will be praying for you guys!

I can't wait to see pics of the new girl in the family!

with love,
Trish

Laura said...

Please get your car seat professionally installed. You can find a car seat technician in your area through this website 0 http://www.safekids.org/certification - click on Find a Tech and input your city and state - or a nearby town if there are none in your town.

I hope all continues to go well and you bring home a healthy baby girl in a month!

Lauren said...

I think at some point every pregnant mom has their fears although you have even more things that can slip in and cause doubt. I am praying for a very peaceful month because you deserve it. Keep up the cleaning if that helps, because if I were in your shoes my house would be spotless by the time she arrives.

Liz said...

So, so glad to hear that you continue to get nothing but good news about this baby! Praying for you in Michigan!

Liz

Cristi said...

The fear is understandable. Even God understands you. Although he is there waiting to replace your fear with peace as you give it to Him. Not long now!

Anonymous said...

I SO much cannot wait to see your little girl. I am praying for peace for you, and good sleep at night. I love reading what you share here.
connie

Anonymous said...

I SO much cannot wait to see your little girl. I am praying for peace for you, and good sleep at night. I love reading what you share here.
connie

Penny said...

Keep the faith, Satann is playing a game with you. He knows your week spots and knows that he is no match for our God and His power. Grab hold of that faith and know that God is with you,he is guiding your steps.

We are all praying for joy! Praying that you are able to grab on to peace and enjoy these last days of your little girl kicking and rolling inside you.

Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com) said...

Hi friend,
oh I know how you feel sweet friend and it's a constant battle. Worth fighting that's for sure cause you know satan has already been defeated!! We just gotta keep giving all over to God - pretty much daily. I keep praying for you daily - you are almost there:) And Gloria the hippo? I don't think so - you look amazing with that beautiful smile!!
Love you!
Kim

Kenzie said...

I love you girl! I continue to think about you so much, about your sweet little girl and about all that you have walked through. I have been missing Maddox lately and thinking about Issac and Asher as well... The Lord continues to grant you such grace and beauty as you walk again through pregnancy, overcoming fear and doubt with Him holding you tightly! You are doing it!! The wait is almost over and you will be holding your precious baby soon :) I love you and LOVE the preggo pic! You know Gloria is BEAUTIFUL and so are YOU!

Kenzie said...

Oh man, it sent before I meant it too... I was saying Gloria is HOT, beautiful and Moto Moto is AWESOME, but a hippo- not quite!! Not in a long stretch!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there! Praise the Lord for HIS WORD we can stand on and that you are doing just that when satan attacks. Hey, just a quick question, are you going to show us the baby's nursery?? Would love to see it!!!

boltefamily said...

I DO plan on showing you all the nursery. I am a perfectionist and it isn't QUITE finished so I want to be able to show it completely done. We are going to get the last few things this weekend to put the finishing touches on. :-) Hopefully pictures will do it justice. It really is perfect!

Denise said...

Can't wait to see the nursery as well as your little girl!

AmandaC said...

I'll continue to keep your little girl (and the rest of you) in my prayers.

Pipsylou said...

I am thinking of you, Kristy. Life has been busy but you are never far from my thoughts. Prayers going up now!

Kristin said...

My middle daughter's Birthday is June 3rd also. I will be thinking of you and praying for you!

Trennia said...

I am praying my friend.My Emily's due date was June 3, 2008, she was born May 3,2008.I will and am and have been praying may the LORD bless you & your new baby GIRL! Congrats...

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

Continuing in prayer for you...hoping in Him with you...

Cathy said...

Something is wrong with my computer and I haven't had any new post on your blog since Dec. 08. For some reason your wouldn't update. I am just stopping by to say Happy Mother's Day and will be checking back on Tuesday after your ultrasound.