Saturday, November 24, 2007

Expecting AGAIN??

About three months after Isaac's death, I found out I was pregnant with another baby! I was not expecting this just yet, but we had gotten all of the results from Isaac's autopsy and they had determined that he had died from an infection he contracted in the womb. It was not genetic so there was no need to fear that the incident would happen again with this baby. I found out that my due date was August 12. Isaac's due date had been August 6th the year before. These baby's would be almost exactly one year apart.

I had so many confusing emotions throughout this pregnancy. I was desperately hoping that the birth of a new baby would take away some of the sting of the loss i was still feeling. Again my pregnancy went on uneventfully. I was monitored closely and dreaded each and every ultrasound. They constantly monitored his growth and he constantly surprised us all. My first two babies were 5 lb 3 oz and 4 lb 13 oz and this baby was going to outweigh them both! On July 27th 2006, six days after the anniversary of Isaac's death, Benjamin Oliver was brought into this world a healthy 8 lb 6 oz gift from the Lord above! We were so excited to have Benjamin.

It was good to know that my body could still produce a healthy baby. Despite my efforts I feel that my body failed Isaac in some way. I felt defective and this proved that I could do it. Having Ben did not take away from the pain I still felt but it added so much joy! He is an amazing little red headed hot tempered toddler who lights up a room! We have a wonderful bright and adorable 4 year old, Luke and a rambunctious toddler, Benjamin.

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