Saturday, January 10, 2009

Why Are ALL Hurtful Comments Anonymous?

I have for a long time debated about what to do about the random anonymous comment that I get that is obviously meant to hurt rather than help. I have tried for a while now just to delete them and not give those people a voice. I have asked several times here for you to email me if you have a question or an issue. I guess maybe I am just at a fragile point in life where I can no longer allow these things just to slide off my back. Even though I know what to be true, I find these comments nudging me and getting my attention where they should not. I have no problem with someone disagreeing with me. I would just appreciate it done in a manner that I can respond to you personally. I feel as though at this point in our lives, Satan is attacking at every angle and I refuse to allow this blog to become one of those.

I know that disallowing these comments will prevent some from commenting who truly do wish to lift me up rather than tear me down, and for those of you this applies to, I am genuinely sorry. I would ask that you shoot me an email instead at I have had to change my email as our other internet provider's email was somehow losing emails. I really need to guard my heart right now.

All of that said, there are two comments I have received in the past week or two that I feel I want to address and while I have said before that this is my blog and I do not have to defend myself, I feel the need to educate.

This one came in this evening:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "As We Wait Upon the Lord":

I'm not sure why you ask for emails because you do not respond to them and even out right ignore prayer requests. I guess it's ok to ask for prayer for your own babies and those you deem deserving.Well, every baby deserves to be prayed for if they are at risk of being very sick and possibly not making it requardless of the reasons. K

Well, K. First I am very sorry that you feel that way but I have to say that you are mistaken. I have earnestly prayed for EVERY SINGLE person who has ever come to me asking for prayer. I get dozens of emails a day and unfortunately I cannot sometimes fit it in to email each person that sends a request, but I do pray. I really do. You are right, EVERY baby deserves to be prayed for and I pray for all who ask. I am sorry you felt neglected. I wish I knew who you were, so that I could respond directly to you but sadly, this is the only way to do so because you chose to post anonymously

I hope you all know that when I ask for prayer requests and emails I do read each and every one and I pray for each of you. I do have a family though and a job so sometimes regrettably I do not get to respond personally to each one I am sorry. I am honored that so many have prayed for me and I do consider it a privilege to share in your lives and pray for you.

Comment #2

You chose to take this road so you have no right to ask for prayer. I really hope this baby is not sick so he/she does not have to suffer just because you feel the need to have more biological children.

Again, anonymous...interesting how no one ever owns up to these comments.

There are so many things to address in those two sentences, but I will keep it brief. First, I would like to say that EVERYONE has a right to ask for prayer despite who they are and how badly they screw up. I have screwed up plenty. I never came here claiming to be perfect. I am just as broken and flawed as any one of you. I am trying with everything I have in me to follow hard after the Lord, but sometimes I get off track. This pregnancy however, I do not feel is in any way one of those times, this child is a gift. God would not have given this gift if He did not intend for us to have it.

Howard and I prayed hard about how to grow this family and how we grow it is between us and God. He answered that prayer in the form of a pregnancy. I believe His Word to be true. When he tells us children are a gift from Him, he doesn't just mean whole and healthy children, he means all children, those who do not stay with us long and those who have special needs. They are each a unique gift. If God does choose for us to walk the road to loss again, we will know that He has gone before us and that though it hurts, His plans for us are good and this child is just as much a gift as any.

My desire has never been simply for "biological children". I just want Christ to be the center of my family and my life and where he leads, you better believe I will follow even if it hurts. He spoke to me through several scripture verses reminding me that I am to keep my sights set on what HE deems wise, not what the world does. I am trying hard to do just that whether it means more biological children, adopted children, foster children, or possibly even no more children at all. I am not the author of this story...He is and I love what he is writing!

Interestingly enough, it was comments like this one that made me wonder if we should ever try again to have children. And I can honestly say that God dealt with me hard on that one. He reminded me that HE is the only one I have to worry about pleasing. He often calls us to do things that the world may not understand and I knew this would be one of those times and I know you are likely not the only person who feels this way, but I am okay with that.

Ok...I have said my peace...I wasn't going to address this but figured maybe it would help people to see where I am coming from in case they aren't trying to be hurtful, they are just trying to understand...and maybe that is the here is your answer! Someone once told me that hurt people, hurt people. So true ins't it?