Reflections of 2007

As I look back on 2007 there are so many things that stand out to me that will be things I remember about that year. Benjamin turned one and celebrated so many firsts, first steps, first words, etc! Luke turned 4 yet seems to be 14 and knows it all! Howard and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary and celebrated being in our new home one year. We celebrated Isaac's life that we were so blessed with 2 years ago, and we found out we were expecting our fourth son! We will also remember the year with our trips to Pittsburgh and concern for our fourth son.

As I look back I see that we celebrated many joyous occasions and also have endured some trials and hardships. As I look ahead to 2008, I know that our family will also celebrate many joyous occasions, we will get to meet our new little guy! And we will likely also endure hardships. Each year is filled with both of these things and as I reflect I realize that sometimes the hardest things we endure are life's greatest blessings. If only we are obedient and allow God to work through our hardships we will see great things come from him. After all, he has a "Mighty Arm" and will work everything out for our good. This is not to say that we don't struggle with this and wish for good and happy times, but we must remain obedient and faithful. I have learned so much from 2007 and though I would never want to go backward I remember the year quite fondly.

Interestingly enough I received a message this morning from an "online friend" who reminded me that though it may be tough to believe that God will heal Happy because of what we went through with Isaac, God calls us to look forward and not to look back. Though I will never forget Isaac and my life will be forever changed because of him I cannot always hold that against God. We do not know the outcome of our current situation, but there is no reason to believe that just because God didn't heal Isaac, he won't heal Happy. Happy has the benefit of everyone's prayer before he is even born. we had no clue Isaac was not well until after birth. While these two situations are remarkably similar they are also different. Only God knows what is to come. So it is with great JOY that I look to the future. God told Lot's wife NOT to look back.

As humans we call it "wise" to always be secure in things. We must have enough money for whatever may come our way, we want to know where we will live, and what will come next. We need to be "prepared" that is "wise". Jesus doesn't necessarily consider this "wise" he wants us to take risks and trust in Him. He expects you to follow Him where ever he may lead. The Bible tells us that you cannot tell where the wind will blow or what it will do next. Following the Holy Spirit is much the same. The good news is that where ever Jesus leads us he will care for us. When he leads us through difficult times we will always be able to look back and see His goodness. No matter how tough things get, he will carry us he will hold us. Now that is security!

Throughout this trial I have been holding on to my experience of pain and anguish when Isaac was taken from me. If I believe in God, I believe that I need to let go of these things. Kind of like forgiving. I have to let go of the past, I cannot use what happened in the past as a reason not to follow or believe now. My hands have been so clenched it makes it too difficult to receive all that God has to offer. When Moses asked God who he is, God replied with three words "eyheh asher eyheh" with these three words, he said two things... He said "I AM WHO I AM" God IS it is that simple....he is all things, all places, everywhere. He also said, "I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE" God is our future! But interestingly enough He never says I WAS! This makes me realize that no matter what is to come, God will be there to hold us up. God isn't the past he is the right now and the future so my prayer for today is that I can let go of the hurt of the past and look to the future and whatever that brings...afterall, our God is a god of second chances...that is what being born again is all about!

What I do know is that I will get to meet my new little boy in 2008 and I am very excited about that!