Rough Night...

Last night we really didn't have any plans so we decided to go out to dinner and then get a mattress for Ben's bottom bunk when he is ready and we were thinking about getting another TV for the house with some gift cards we got for Christmas. Well little did we know that everything would be closed. We ran a few errands and we went to Walmart. We got home and got the kids to bed and Howard and I sat down to watch the ball drop with a couple of pints of Ben and Jerry's! Then off to bed! Well Howard fell right to sleep but I started feeling sick, not sure if it was the Ben and Jerry's or what but I realized that I had barely felt the baby move all day and now I was convinced I was in labor which was why I felt so yucky.

So, I got up and came out to sit on the couch to try to see if what I was feeling was really labor. I got myself so worked up. I was convinced that since I had not felt the baby in quite some time that he must have died and that I was surely going into labor and I would spend New Years in the hospital giving birth to a baby who was already with Jesus. I tortured myself for quite a while. You see, I also attend a support group for bereaved parents and I know so many women who have lost babies! Many of which have had stillborn babies and I thank God every day that I at least had 6 days with Isaac. But nonetheless knowing so many women who have lost babies sometimes has a tendancy to remind me of ALL of the things that can go wrong. I get so frustrated sometimes because I don't think many women understand how blessed they truly are when they get pregnant and have a healthy baby 9 months later. Many women suffer with infertility, miscarriage and infant loss and once you experience one of those things you are NEVER the same.

Anyhow, around 3:30 I fell asleep on the couch and Howard came out to check on me an hour or so later and I went to bed. This morning Happy was very active and I tried to sleep in because Howard was taking care of the kids but I just layed in bed enjoying every moment with Happy. I was in such a panic last night and I just kept praying for this little guy to move and he must have been sleeping! I feel much better today though.

Actually I got a new cookbook for Christmas by Jessica Seinfeld, called Deceptively Delicious, and the idea is that you hide veggies in every day meals to get the kids to eat more so I spent the day pureeing beets, spinach, squash, broccoli, and carrots for use in the meals I plan to cook this week. It was fun! I can't wait to try the recipes!

I am trying very hard to live one day at time. It is so hard. Tonight we are going to start a family devotional time with Luke and I am looking forward to that. I am praying that this new year brings many blessings for our family and for all of yours! Our next appointment in Erie is the 7th and Pittsburgh the 15th so please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are still praying for God to grow Happy's brain and heal him, but we are also praying that he uses us for His purposes and that we are able to remain steadfast and obedient in allowing Him to do so. We know good things are to come, we just have to take it one day at a time!