Today...

Well first let me say thank you all for your prayers, phone calls and kind words. They really mean so much to us. I must say that today didn't go quite as we had hoped, but knowing that we had so many people behind us made the day a lot easier. This was the first time I wasn't shaking and terrified the whole way down to Pittsburgh. I even ate in the car. That may not seem like much but just that I was able to feel that much peace prior to such a big appointment is a miracle in and of itself for me.

It has been a long day, a day of traffic and construction as well as snowy, icy roads. When we arrived in Pittsburgh we were surprisingly greeted by our friends Ginger and Maggie who live not far from the hospital. They just wanted to welcome us and show their support with their smiling faces. It was good. We waited in the waiting room for what seemed like forever! Shortly after 2 we were called back to sono. The woman who did my sonogram was very kind and gentle. She took quite a bit of time and we got quite a look at this little guy. She then called in Dr. Hill and he went over the measurements and showed us that this baby is DEFINITELY a boy, sorry Luke! Dr. Hill spoke with us for a few moments. He explained that the baby's head was still lagging significantly in growth. He got a look at the heart and said that the hole is still there but that the heart looks good and the hole may close it is still early and even if it doesn't it can be taken care of.

We then met with a geneticist, Dr. Hogge, who we do really like. He reviewed everything with us and went over Isaac's pictures and autopsy report. He saw nothing significant in the pictures but he firmly believes that we are definitely dealing with genetic microcephaly here. This means that he is quite certain that this baby has the same issues as Isaac. He does not think that Isaac was affected by infection. He was very patient and he answered all of our questions and said he would be in touch with us. At this point he is trying to pinpoint the gene that we have passed on to these babies that is causing it and he is trying to determine whether survival is possible. He said we will be discussing at length what our wishes are for this little guy and how aggressive we want to be. He thinks that this baby will likely also be breech since microcephalic babies have small heads they don't engage in the pelvis. That may mean another c section if I want to deliver in Erie.

So, in actuality we don't know much more. It is just a wait and see. The baby's brain is measuring 23 -24 weeks and I am 29 weeks pregnant. Isaac's head quit growing between 17 and 20 weeks. To me this means that this baby's head is already bigger but we are not sure what that means. At this point I know that God still may heal our son but if that is not the plan I think now we need to look ahead at what God wants us to do with the time we have this little guy. I regret so much of how I handled Isaac's 6 days on this earth and I want to make the most of whatever time we have with Happy. I am not giving up by any means and I do believe the prayer is working in many ways. God is working in this. I know that for sure. I am going to just try to be still and listen to what He is saying.

I will write more tomorrow. I am so tired. I am going to head to bed. Thank you all for your prayers! We love you!