Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The need to DO something...

Well today has been a better day. The kids seem to be feeling a bit better, though I have now caught whatever they had! But I can deal with it myself...the kids have a tougher time. So praise God that they are feeling better and Ben slept through the night ALL night in his own bed!

I have really enjoyed the kids today. Many days I cannot say that. I get so wrapped up in my own agenda that I forget that my most important job is those boys, shepherding their hearts and enjoying them every moment is more important than laundry, clean floors, and clean dishes...though often times I am fooled into thinking otherwise. We have had a fun day and actually gotten a little cleaning done. They love to spray the windows, fold clothes and run the sweeper so we cleaned a bit together so I still feel like something got done and they have had my undivided attention all day.

Now it is naptime and Ben is sleeping and Luke is having quiet time (which though he is done with naps I still insist on even if he just looks at books or does puzzles.)

As I sit here thinking, I can totally understand why people who go through painful experiences try to medicate the pain away whether it is by drinking, using legal or illegal drugs, shopping, or cleaning. I often find myself trying to keep busy enough that I don't FEEL the pain. The truth is though, nothing works. Eventually it sneaks up on you and it must be felt and dealt with. My goal here is to deal with all of this in a healthy way. I feel the need to DO something just as many of you have expressed your need to do something for us. Here is what I am working on now...


For those of you who don't know we have a team for the "March For Babies" it was formerly Team Isaac and is now Team Isaac and Asher. The walk will be held in Erie on April 27 at the Peninsula. All money raised goes to helping babies. They help families with medical cost and it provides research funding. The March of Dimes does great work trying to eliminate prematurity and birth defects.

If you would like to help us in this endeavor there are a few ways you can can join our team and don't even have to be in our city. You can find the March of Dimes March near you and still walk for our team from your city. If you are interested in joining our team please go to or click on the link to the right of this page. We are working on team tshirts this year so please sign up soon so we can get your tshirt ordered.

If you cannot walk with us you can still donate by clicking the link at the side of this page. We would apprecaite any help any of you could give in supporting this worthy cause in our children's names. It is very healing for us to be able to do good in their honor as they have done so much for us!


My next project is working on getting a perinatal hospice program working in our area. Our state does not have a program like this and I am determined to make sure moms know that after poor prenatal diagnosis they do have options. Termination is not the only option! A perinatal hospice program would work with moms who have been given an unfavorable prenatal diagnosis giving them the resources they need to help them make the most of their time with their baby even if it is only during pregnancy. There were no resources like this for me and carrying a baby who is expected to die is very different than carrying a healthy baby. I want to help other families open their hearts to the gift of carrying these babies. I can only imagine how difficult it would have been if this had been my first pregnancy, and I had to sit through childbirth class with other happy moms expecting healthy babies. I want to make sure no mom has to do that.

I am just in the beginning of contacting the necessary people and have no idea how open they will be to this but many other cities around the country have programs like this, you can read about them at If you or anyone you know would like to help me get this going please let me know.

So today I ask that you pray for our work in these areas. Please pray that we can use our experience to help other families in similar situations, that God continues to use us as he sees fit. That is our main goal. Though a baby may not live long, they are still the gift God promises them to be. We just want everyone to realize that gift.


Kim said...

Amazing! Thank you for being a vessel for God's work. You are a light to all of us who know you/of you in blog world:) and it is incredible only God could take something like has happened to your family TWICE and work it for good. How wonderful you are willing and accept it.
Praying for you!

Erin said...

The perinatal hospice idea is wonderful. I wish there was something like that when I was pregnant with our Isaac as well. I am so thankful that we have wonderful family and church family who surrounded us with love and support. Isaac was our first and I couldn't bear to go to childbirth class so we got a crash course when he was born. Still thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Kenzie Stanfield said...

I love it Kristy! I was just sent an article the other day on this very issue and the author profiled a family that carried a T18 baby. I'm not even sure if there is something like that here in Houston, but I just LOVE it! I have the link on my blog (to the article on under our March of Dimes logo. It was so good I actually emailed the author and told her thank you for publishing it... she actually lost a child as well (not prenatal diagnosis but losing a child is something she understands).

You've definitely given me something to think about a little bit more.

Continuing to pray for y'all each day!

Christa said...

Good for you!!! It's so sad that women think termination is the only option. I was told to terminate one of my triplets, only because they were triplets. :( A LOT of women end up "reducing" and I find it heartbreaking.

The perinatal hospice idea is just wonderful. What a great cause!!! I will be at the walk to!!!

Sallie said...

I think you have a wonderful idea! I'll be praying for you as you try to get it started.

Laura said...

I am working on getting a perinatal hospice started in Denver. I would love to talk with you more...I am on the same journey you are on....mine just started sooner than yours! I have been following your blog for a while now and pray for you when I read. Email me if you want...I would love to help you get started in your area and share more of the vision I have...I am looking at something national!

Jane-Jane said...

I will be praying for both of these organizations that are so close to your heart.

Also, I will be walking with my friends and their triplets that are almost 4...and spent a few weeks in the NICU.

Be careful running the sweeper...that's MUCH harder on the body than you realize. (just had surgery myself this me, the floors are not worth a two week setback!)

still praying for your healing heart.

Corie O'Brien said...

Hi Kristy,
Thank you for your encouraging comment. I have read your blog and am praying for your family also while you travel on this same journey of grief. I am sorry that you have had to go through this time again. What a faithful woman you are and how you have honored God so well. I know there must be many babies worshipping together in heaven. I am sure Happy had an incredible homecomeing with his brother Asher at the front! I will continue to left you up in prayer.

Hilary Marquis said...

What a wonderful and generous gift that would be! Your light for the Lord is shinning so brightly. It is an honor to read your story. You'll remain in my prayers.

Hilary Marquis said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog :) I pray I don't say this the wrong way or cause you any pain...if you ever decide to consider international adoption, I'd be happy to help in any way I can. Adopting Anara was such a miracle for us, just as precious as giving birth to my other three was. God orchestrated it all with a world between us. He moved the mountains that were in the way, to bring her home. Our God is an awesome God!

Kim ( said...

Sweet Friend, God is working in you and through you. You are not wasting "it"!! I don't want to waste it either. Praying for you every day. God WILL be and IS glorified through our babies - Praise His name!!
With love,

Zac and Jenny said...

What a wonderful project the perinatal hospice is! As a gerontology social worker I work with hospices everyday. They do SUCH GREAT work!