Sunday, February 3, 2008

So Unworthy

As I sit here and read the responses from all of you and the emails that pour our way, I must admit that I feel slightly uncomfortable with some of them. So many of you have such wonderful things to say about our family and faith. I have gotten many comments on my strength and my faith and I must say I certainly don't deserve it. I am certainly not strong, in fact I am about as weak as they come, and while my faith seems remarkable at the moment, it is because without it I would die rather than go through this. I think it is far more remarkable when you see a person live out their faith in good times and I must admit I am not always the best at this. When things are going well, sometimes I have the tendancy to begin to take things for granted. Maybe this is a lesson God is teaching me.

Not only do I feel so incredibly unworthy of all of your comments, but also of the fact that eventhough I have ups and downs, God continues to love me the same no matter what. That baffles me. It is so difficult to understand that I don't have to DO anything to earn God's love. It is a free gift for anyone who wants to receive it regardless of your past or your screw ups. I am certainly a big screw up most of the time and yet God still chooses to love me each and every day. Now that is LOVE!


Laurie in Ca. said...

Good Morning Kristy,

God's Love. Isn't amazing how He pours it out on all of us who are really unworthy, each and every one of us. I think we all take the good times for granted to some extent. I am reminded of this when I follow ladies who are going through what you are. I know that He is blessed when we express our weaknesses to one another so we can encourage each other and lift you up in prayer to Him. I completely understand the feeling of unworthiness daily, but oh Kristy, this is when He is free to do His best work in our lives. We ARE worthy to God because of Jesus. I know in my heart that he pleads our case before God, reminding Him that He died for everything we are going through. And trust me, I am a bigger "screw up" than you!:):) You are so right to know that there is not one thing we can do to earn His love, it is free and priceless. I love you and am praying for Happy every day to be strong and healthy.

Love you, Laurie in Ca.


I'm just going to say...Thanks Laurie for what you feelings exactly.

Anonymous said...

Although you feel weak, Kristy, God is making you strong! It's so beautiful to see him shining THROUGH you during this difficult time. I feel the same way sometimes, but then I remember that it isn't MY strength that people are's HIS!! God bless you for leaning on him and seeing his works through all of this. Just remember, we're all "screw ups", but thank the Lord for sending his son Jesus to die for us so that we can someday live with him in our heavenly home. IT IS AWESOME THAT HE LOVES US THAT MUCH!!!

Anonymous said...

I think that you are SO worthy of the comments you receive. I also have noticed that blogs like yours (and the ones that lead me to you) are a testimony & gathering place for the kindness & sincere support that your blog friends want to give. You are a sweetheart and I enjoy reading your postings.
a friend in FL

Anonymous said...

I agree with Valerie, we are witnessing God through you and you are teaching us about HIM everyday...I know it is not easy to understand but you are are a strong, faithful, witness of God's enduring love, even at times you feel weak. you are teaching me to be more prayful and willing to lean on God for all needs and to remember to always send him praises. Thank you! Our prayers and thoughts are with you always.

meela said...

You know I know exactly what you are talking about! :)

I want to recommend a book to you. It is by Gary Sitser called A Grace Disguised. Maybe you have read it, but, it helped me through my pregnancy with Annabelle.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it amazing ... when we feel most unworthy, our Father stands waiting to show us once again just how MUCH He wants to lavish His gifts on us. They may not always be the gifts we would choose, but they are His perfect plan for us.

I am praying for you and your family as you walk through this trial. May you feel His arms around you as He carries you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Kristy,
I had to laugh when I saw your boys in the pictures. I also have two bys, and one daughter, and the boys still at the ages of 9 & 6 still ham it up for the pictures. Now they have more opportunities to because of school pictures. I also loved the picture of you and your husband togehter. You can see the love and strength. I hope today is a happy day. Amy in Fairview

Anonymous said...

I found your blog thru another and just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family.

Lisa said...

You are worthy of the comments and thoughts that people have shared with you. I think that is part of the reason you are writing the blog, God knew that you would need lifted up, and knew that you would reach so many people through your blog who would be able to do that.

But Kristy, you have reached so many of us & lifted us up too. Your Happy has done that through your words, brought all of us a little closer to God, through YOUR love of God, and your love of your family.

You so don't feel like it, but you are such an example of true faith.

Prayers and belly rubs for Happy,

Melissa Dovel said...

So many people on here said my thoughts exactly- Its all true and you are worthy. Im sure the reason you dont feel it is because you know where your thoughts sometimes go- all of us are like this in good times and in hard ones. Bottom line is that you have folks here who care for you deeply as sisters in the Lord. A sister is someone who grives with you, who carries your worries with you, who loves you no matter what... Thanks be to God that we are all sisters through Him- Praying hard for your feelings and that you would be able to see and feel deep down inside that you are worthy. Be blessed and keep the faith of what you feel the Lord can do with Happy's life.

Praying in Denton TX