Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Another weekend flew by!

We had a pretty good weekend I must say. We were able to relax and enjoy the boys and spend time with some friends! The snow forced us to pretty much just hang out at home and it was great. Monday I had a prenatal appointment with my doctor in Erie and it was uneventful as usual. My glucose and blood test that I had done last appointment came back just fine and I am measuring fine and the baby's heart sounds great. I have lost some weight, but they are not terribly concerned about that just yet. I must attribute that to additional stress, heartburn and two active children. I truly am trying to be as healthy as I can to give the baby the best start I can no matter what. Though I must admit there have been times I have thought, what is the point? I try so hard during pregnancy to be so healthy and give up many things I love and yet it doesn't really seem to make a difference. There are many women out there making VERY poor lifestyle choices that will have a healthier baby than me. Frustrating, so I try not to think about that because it angers me. So, I just want to know that I have done all I can!

We still are waiting for a call from Pittsburgh and our doctor there. He was going to meet with some of his colleagues and try to determine what they predict the outcome for Happy to be. Basically though, we won't know for sure until he is born and we know how much his brain has developed. We aren't sure if his microcephaly will be as severe as Isaac's or not. I pray that he surprises everyone and shows a great amount of growth. In the next few weeks we will be talking with doctors about predicted outcomes and what our wishes are. There will be many decisions we will have to make that no parent should ever even have to consider. So the weeks to come will certainly be tough but we pray that God will help us with each decision as we look to Him.

One of the biggest decisions we are currently faced with deals with the delivery. Isaac was breech so I did have a c-section with him. This was extremely difficult because after the surgery I had to remain in bed for 8 hours. So Isaac was going on 9 hours old before I ever even got to see him. At that time I was in such shock that it didn't seem like all that long, but this time I know it will be different. I want to be with my son every moment possible! I was able to have Benjamin VBAC which is vaginal birth after c-section. I was very thankful for this. Recovery is so much easier after a natural birth and that is what I am hoping for with Happy. The trouble is that microcephaly babies tend to remain breech (upside down) because their heads are not large enough to engage in the pelvis. So, they are saying there is a great likelihood that Happy will be breech. If this is the case and I want to deliver in Erie that means a c section...my doctor here is a great advocate for natural birth but doesn't feel comfortable with recommending a natural breech birth, he feels it to be too risky for both me and the baby. The doctors in Pittsburgh however are willing to deliver the baby natural even if he is breech because the reason they don't like to deliver a breech baby naturally is that the head is the largest part and if it comes last there are obvious problems there. Since the baby's head is so small they don't see that as an issue.

So, either the baby gets his head where it needs to be so we can deliver here in Erie naturally or if he is breech I either go to Erie for a c section or Pittsburgh for natural birth. This is really tough for me. I desperately want to have him naturally to be sure I can make the most of my time with him should our time be limited especially. I also desperately want to give birth in Erie so that as many of our friends and family can meet him as possible. We want the boys to spend time with him as well. SO...we are praying for the best option....HAPPY GET YOUR HEAD DOWN! That is our prayer. That would be the best for him for me and everyone involved. I think though that I have decided that should he be breech we will go c section...there are reasons my doctor doesn't think that natural breech birth is safe and I trust him. I don't want to add risk for Happy or myself. So, I have explained to Howard that my wishes are that if I have a c section that he go with the baby immediately and remain with him. I will be fine. With Isaac he was so worried about me he stayed with me and Isaac was alone and I regret that. We did the best we could at the time but it is one thing I would change if I could. There will be plenty of people willing to be with me if needed. Howard will need to be with our son.

So I guess I am asking that for the next two months we pray that the baby hangs in there for at least 6 more weeks and that he gets his head where it needs to be!


Hilary said...

We've never met, I don't even know your first name or what state you live in, but I stumbled upon your blog and have been following along. Your post today about your decision of where and how to give birth really struck at my heart. Just wanted you to know there are likely many who check this blog and have never left their imprint. May God grant you His peace that surpasses our understanding. The words are insufficient, but the prayer is the best we can do.



Corinne said...


I have also stumbled on your blog and spent the last hour reading all your entries. Know that you are loved and prayed for up here in Victoria, BC, Canada......God is good and your trust in him is incredible! Keep on keeping on!!!
Prayers and blessings,

Laurie in Ca. said...


I will be praying for Happy to continue growing healthy and that he turns head down when the time comes. I am also praying for the Lord to lead you in each and every decision you will be making between now and Happy's birthday. You can trust Him to have your best interests and desires close to His heart. I am so glad you had a good weekend and enjoyed being with those cute boys of yours. Praying for His perfect peace to fill you each day.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

Anonymous said...

Another new reader to your blog...we are all coming out of the woodwork today =)

I am a doula and spend a lot of time with women as they make decisions about their upcoming birth. Some of those decisions are straightforward, but many women have multiple considerations (previous c-section, high risk baby, multiples etc). I try to stress to the mothers that making peace with their decision is more important than agonizing over the decision in the first place. It truly sounds as though you have worked through your options and are at peace with your decisions. Hopefully Happy will cooperate and will turn head down so that you don't have to make a choice about that!
I will be following your blog and sending much love and support your way. I have a client in a similar position at the moment (I found your blog doing some research for her), facing some tough choices. Your blog is a wonderful insight into the journey your little guys are taking you on! Thank you for sharing it so candidly.

Warmly, Karoline

Jen said...

I found your blog via the Stanfields'. I am going to be praying for you and your sons and husband.

Court said...

I found your blog through another friend's blog, through another friend, etc...and around and around we go. One of the greatest things about the "blog"osphere that we have is to be given the privelege to see others walk where we haven't walked before and to pray along with you along your journey. May God give you peace and comfort in the coming weeks and months ahead. Praying for you and your family in Houston, TX!

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled accross your blog from a link of blogs starting at the blog of Nate, Tricia and baby Gwen. Anyway, just thought I'd let you know I have added you to my favorites and will be checking back daily and offering up prayers, as I did last night, for your precious Happy and your family.

So Blessed said...

Praying for your family today...that our loving heavenly Father will supply your each and every need.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Anonymous said...

Hey there...I dont know if you remember me from cafemom...but my son is Jacob and he has microcephaly...I just wanted you to know that he was born vaginally(its a long story) and he kinda just flew right out...but then again he was just a small baby in general, I dont know what your baby is measuring...anyways just wanted you to know it is possible and I will be praying that he turns, and stays healthy and HAPPY :)
Take care,