"Good Gifts"

"You parents - if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him?" Matthew7:9-11

Recently we purchased a Rob Bell DVD entitled Kickball...if you have not had the opportunity to listen to Rob Bell, I highly recommend him. In this DVD he shares a story about his young son who in a trip to the mall spies a toy that he MUST have. He begs and he pleads for this toy, while his parents insist that he doesn't need it, it will break, it will tangle, it could hurt him. But the boy protests! He gets carried out of the mall despite his bold protests. Once he settles down, his parents then take him to the sporting goods store to get him a kickball which was part of the original plan of the trip and proudly he picks an orange kickball and is happier with that kickball than he ever would have been with the junk toy he wanted at the mall.

Rob Bell goes on to describe how we are often like a young child in this respect. We know what gifts we want and yet sometimes God chooses different ones for us. We want the toy in the mall and yet our Father is much more wise than we are and so he does risk disappointing us by telling us no or refusing to give that toy. He refuses not because he doesn't love us but because in His wisdom He can see the bigger picture. So he gives us something way better than we could ever have imagined.

Sounds great doesn't it?? I do believe that God gives us good gifts, but right now I feel like I am playing the role of the tantrum throwing toddler! How could anything possibly be better than having a healthy baby next month? I know that my views are so limited and my human mind cannot grasp the enitire picture no matter how I try. But for now, I am kicking and screaming and having a tantrum! I want my son! I want him to be born healthy and I want to bring him home to a family who loves him more than he could ever imagine. I want to play referee between three boys instead of two. Ideally I think I should be playing referee to four boys!

So, I want to thank you all for reading, for praying and for all of your kind words. Please know that in my head I know that what God has in store is going to be amazing! Thank you for also allowing me this time now to have my tantrums. My heart just isn't matching up with my head these days! My heart is aching for Isaac and terrified that I may also lose Happy and it is more than I can bear. So though I know whatever God has in store will be for my greater good, I am going to continue to beg and plead for a miracle for Happy!