I would like to begin by explaining what happened yesterday and then will give you all the updates! Thank you to my dear friend Julie for giving the update last night.
I went in yesterday at 12:30 as scheduled and had the NST. This took FOREVER because Happy was so active he kept moving and it wasn't always picking up his heartrate! But about an hour or so later we met with the doctor who thought things looked fine. Then we headed to ultrasound. She was not able to get a clear view of his head because it was in my ribs. He was breech. We got a few cute pictures of his face though I will post them later. She went on to do all of the measurements and assessments needed and asked us to sit in the waiting room, she needed to talk to the doctor...WE HAVE HEARD THAT BEFORE! We knew something was up. She came back and all she said was to head across the road to labor and delivery and the doctor would be waiting for us there.
So, like a nightmare that was reocurring we walked across the street. (this is exactly what happened with Isaac) When we got up there the doctor was on the phone so the nurses got me into a room and I got into a gown and they began monitoring the baby. The doctor came in and explained that the sonogram showed fluid on the baby's lungs and that the umbilical cord was not allowing the blood to flow as easily as it should. He was concerned about Happy's well being. So he said we would do IV fluids and repeat the scan in an hour and go from there.
An hour later they repeated the scan and found much of the same. So the OB came back in and explained that it didn't look good and that we would be staying overnight. He said that the baby could be in danger and that we would repeat the scan in the morning. If the results were worse we would deliver the baby right then. If they were the same we could stay in the hospital to be monitored for a week and then deliver or we could just deliver in the morning.
This gave us much to think about. We really want to maximize any time we have with Happy and I don't want to see him under stress in the womb. Yet they thought by giving him another week, his lungs may at least be mature. I was totally not ready for any of this. I figured he would come early but not this early.
Then the neonatologist came in to ask the tough questions. He needed to know if when Happy was born we wanted a chest tube inserted to drain the fluid on his lungs. This is what they would do for a normal healthy baby, but he explained that it is a painful procedure and he did not think it would change the outcome in Happy's case. He was very kind and compassionate but also told us if it were his child he would not go to extreme measures. He also was concerned that with the prematurity coming into play that a respirator may be needed. This was another thing to consider because about half of babies born at this point need one. However, if we chose to put him on the respirator, it would likely keep him alive, though his lack of brain development would probably cause him to be brain dead. If we did the chest tube or the ventilator, we would not be able to hold him and the doctors are quite certain his microcephaly is severe enough that he will not survive anyhow.
WHOA! I know...decisions no parent should ever have to contemplate. After discussing it with the doctors and nurses we decided that when Happy comes, we will provide comfort care to be sure he doesn't suffer, but we will not use heroic measures. If God is going to heal him, he doesn't need a chest tube to do it. We want to hold him and love him for the time we have him. This is also what we chose for Isaac and we are pretty much at peace with those decisions. We are not giving up, but we are also not going to try to fight God if his plan is to take him.
We prayed for God to help us to know what to do.
An answered prayer!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We tried to rest for the evening mostly unsuccessfully and this morning at 7 I had another Ultrasound. This ultrasound actually went well! At about 8 the doctor came in and said that we could go home! We were stunned! This was never even an option prior to this. She said that the ultrasound went well and that the cord looked better! We could go home and we would schedule a c section for Monday, February 25, this would give his lungs a chance to develop a little more and in her words at least give him a "fighting chance" She said that he appears to be doing well and we will monitor him again on Thursday, but this was good news. She said that these extra days could mean more time with him, and who knows?? "doctors are not God" those were her exact words!
So our decision was made. Monday it is. I am still not nearly ready for this and am struggling immensely with all of it, but this was an answered prayer and we know that God's timing is perfect so he WILL work all of this out for our good.
I have nothing more profound to say right now as it all still seems a little surreal and I am having difficulty wrapping my mind around it. Those are the facts and we will continue to pray and trust God with the life He perfectly created.
Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayer. I will keep you updated as we process all of this and begin to prepare for Monday!
4 hours ago