Scattered Thoughts...

Howard and I always joke about how God must have a sense of humor because Howard and I both enjoy sleep very much and yet our children do not! I have always thought that it has been God's way of preparing me for motherhood that in the few weeks before giving birth I wake up at 5 or so and cannot get back to sleep. I can't even lie still. I HAVE to do laundry or dishes or some other household chore. Which explains why I am writing this entry at 6:30 in the morning.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I got to go get my hair cut and highlighted which made me feel so much better! Then I called Howard to tell him I was on my way home and he told me to go ahead and go shopping for a while. What a husband! So I got some alone time. I had contractions off and on all day yesterday though and so my thoughts were constantly on Happy, praying for him to just stay put a few more weeks. I am actually still having them this morning, but nothing regular so please pray that he stays in there. It is still much too early for him and I am not ready yet.

Today we have a wedding reception to go to, I have been looking forward to this all week. I am sure it will be a lot of fun. It has gotten me thinking though about the GREATEST gift God has given me. My children of course go without saying but I have been reminded lately of how blessed I have been by my husband! I cannot even put into words how thankful I am to God for sending Howard to me. He is my best friend and the true love of my life and when I think of my life before him and the person I was then compared to the person I am now I am in awe. Before knowing Howard I believed in God and tried to be a "pretty good person" but Howard has truly taught me what it means to have a relationship with God. I know it is cliche but he makes me want to be a better person. I have never known a person like Howard and feel so incredibly blessed that God sent him to me! Our boys are so blessed to have him as their dad!


I wish I had something really profound to tell you all today...just a few random thoughts I wanted to get down. I still struggle daily with all of this. I am trying to understand something that seems so unfathomable. I am desperate to keep my baby safely tucked inside my womb for a few more weeks and I am apprehensive as we head into doctor appointments on Monday. Please continue to pray for all of us! As I was coming home last night, I was playing Natalie Grant and this song came on and reminded me that I just have to give it all to him...the worry, the fear, the doubt. I have been so blessed by Natalie Grant's music and this song especially. I am trying to add it to my playlist at the bottom of the blog, but the website is down right now, so hopefully later! Thank you all for your continued prayer!

In Better Hands Now

Natalie Grant

It's hard to stand on shifting sand

It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night

You can't be free if you don't reach for help

You cant love if you dont love yourself

There is hope when my faith runs out

Cause I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down

It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt

I'm in better hands now

I am strong all because of you

I stand in awe of every mountain that you move

Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone

I am safe from this moment on

There's no fear when the night comes 'round

I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down

It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt

I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down

It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground

Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true

Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room

So take this heart of mine there's no doubt

I'm in better hands nowI'm in better hands now