Saturday, May 10, 2008

A perfect gift of love!

I have stated before that I have a difficult time with Mother's Day, I always have for as long as I can remember. Last year on Mother's Day I received a package from UPS. When I opened it there was a card that simply said, Happy Mother's Day! Inside was a tiny rosebush. When I looked closer I noticed it was called "Isaac Rose". I fell apart. It was the most perfect gift, but I had no idea who sent it. Later I found out that it was our friends Dave and Christy. I am so thankful for that little bush. These are gifts that really mean a lot. I have a tree in our front yard that was given to us when Isaac died and a little ornamental grass we got with a greenhouse gift card given by other friends on Isaac's birthday. These gifts are such awesome reminders of Isaac and each year on his birthday and at the time they are blooming I take pictures of these plants to put in Isaac's scrapbook.

This year is proving to be an especially difficult year and mother's day is a day when I wish I could just go to the moon or something. I LOVE being a mom but growing up it was a tough day. Each year in elementary school when everyone else made mother's day gifts I had a special project to do. I am thankful that the teachers were considerate of me but I just remember those feelings and dreading the week we would make gifts because I would be singled out and reminded of what was lost. I grew up without a mom and that is something I am not sure I will ever get over. I am certainly a different person than I might have been. I did have a wonderful Grandmother who did a great job at trying to fill that role, but as we all know there is no one like a mom. There is no way to make up for such a loss. I never had a mom to help me get ready for prom or come to my choir concerts or plays, she was never sitting in the bleachers watching me cheer like the other moms. I did not have anyone to help me prepare for my wedding and marriage and I did not have her to give me unwanted advice when I had my first baby. So many things lost.

Yesterday the UPS guy came to the door with a strange looking package. Inside was a card that simply said "Happy Mother's Day!" and in the package was a rosebush. A tiny little bush called "Happy Child". As I opened it I cried yet again. Not because I was sad. Because some days I just feel so incredibly loved. I am overwhelmed at the generosity of friends who have done everything they can to lighten my burden in any way possible. The smallest gesture means so much. So while I mourn the loss of my mom and my two precious sons, I am so very thankful this Mother's Day for my family and my amazing friends. I have no doubt that God made sure we were completely surrounded by people who would just jump in and do whatever they could to soothe our hurt and I stand in awe. Thank you friends! Thank you for not asking "what do you need?" but just doing whatever comes to mind. I love you!


Sheryl said...

Very touching post! God is so good to surround with what/who you need just when you need it.

I remember the father/daughter dances and having to find someone to take me. I hear your heart, being grateful for your grandma but it's just not the same.

You are one amazing woman and mother and I'm praying this will be a wonderful Mother's Day for you.


Corie said...

Sending you a big hug. I will be praying for you tomorrow.

Erin said...

What wonderful friends! We have a lilac that we planted in honor of our Isaac. I might have to get one of those Isaac roses! I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Erin said...

I would love to know where your friends found the Isaac rose. I googled it and didn't come up with anything.

Anxious AF said...

Happy Mothers Day...I will be praying for blessed.

Jarboetwingles said...

Just wanted to stop in and thank you for your comment! I have been thinking of you a lot lately and wanted you to know that I am praying for you each day whenever God brings you to mind. I personally feel that is the Holy Spirit's way of comforting you during an especially hard moment. I have a picture of our yard's first Dandy Lion that I will forward to you when my computer decides to work again! I made my husband wait a while before cutting the grass for the first time. But the great thing about Dandy Lions is that they are tough and bloom again so quickly! I pray you feel some peace tomorrow and have a Happy Mother's Day!