Thursday, May 29, 2008

A phone call...

Well it was a rough night last night. Benjamin's arm is terribly sore still so he ended up sleeping with Howard on the couch for the first half of the night and in bed with us the second half. He was extremely restless and you could tell it hurt when he rolled over onto his arm. Darn shots!

Today has been much of the same. He has been trying not to use his arm but I am trying desperately to get him to use it a little bit thinking that keeping it still will not help the soreness. So he is cranky and whiny but as time passes he seems to be perking up a bit. He is fighting with his brother as we speak. :-)

Minutes ago the phone rang...I looked at the caller ID and it said "Saint Vincent". My heart sank. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach wondering what they were calling for. The lady from medical records was calling to let me know that Asher's autopsy report was in and she asked if I would like her to send it in the mail. She said she would get it out today. I said that would be great and thanked her. It was kind of her to keep an eye out for the report and call me as soon as she saw it. She didn't have to do that.

It seems funny to me that a week ago I was upset that the reports weren't ready when I wanted them but now I am not sure I am ready to read them. Reading an autopsy report is no easy read. It is graphic and tough. Yesterday when I was at the doctor's office with Luke and Ben, our pediatrician asked if we were planning on having more kids. I told him I wasn't sure. He said he would hate to see us go through all of this again, but joked that if the next baby followed the pattern all should be fine.

Our doctor in Pittsburgh is looking for similarities between the two babies. Trying to find a genetic link if there is one. They were also doing a chromosome study because Asher had many more "issues" than Isaac did. Many of Asher's symptoms mimic those of Trisomy 18. If that were the case then there is a good possibility that there may not be a genetic link.

Anyhow...thank you all for continuing to pray for our family. We covet your prayers and appreciate all of your encouraging words. Though this may be a difficult step in this grief process I am hoping it brings us one step closer to healing. We know God is in control no matter what the answers on that paper say.


Michelle said...

Praying for you as you expect the results. I can only pray they gently give you some answers you are needing inside. Thinking of you, Michelle

Jenny said...

Just thinking and praying for you.

Although I'm sure it will be hard for you to read the autopsy report, I pray that it will give you some of the answers in relation to Asher and also your future.


Destini said...

Praying for you and your family.

valerie said...

Hi Kristy,
My name is Valerie and I'm from Oklahoma. I read your comment on Angie's blog.
I was just on my knees before our heavenly Father crying for so many families who have recently had children go to heaven.
It breaks my heart!
The pictures of your little ones are so precious.
There are no words from my mouth that will make you feel any better or help at this time, but, I want you to know I am a pray-er and I will be standing in the gap for you and all the other hurting mothers and fathers.
I'm thinking of you as you will be getting the report in the mail soon.
I love the verse from Is. 42:16 that you quoted in another post.
That is a very special verse (and is on my frige right now) God gave me back when my daughter was trying to make decisions about breaking off a relationship she was in and trying to choose what college He wanted her to go to.
By the way, I was going to be named Kristy, but since I was born on Valentine's Day I'm now "Valerie Chris."
Love & prayers,

Anonymous said...

I came across your blog when my sister in law found it. It has truly touched my heart. I lost my daughter 17 months ago today. And it seems it never gets any easier. She lived 1 day. She passed away from Pulmonary Hypertension of the Newborn due to prematurity. We are trying to have another baby and have been for almost a year now but, with no luck.
I admire you so much for all you do. I can barely stand to get up in the morning and I have only lost 1 child. I couldn't imagine losing 2. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...