Expelled

Last night I was really struggling. We went to see the movie Expelled, a documentary done by Ben Stein (Bueller, Bueller, Beuller and the Visine Guy). The movie uncovers the academic freedom that is being taken away in this country as the theory of Darwinism is accepted as the only truth and anyone who thinks otherwise is deemed crazy. Many scientists and professors have lost their jobs for suggesting that maybe Darwin did not get the whole picture and that maybe "Intelligent Design" is responsible for life on earth. It was an eye opening movie and I highly recommend it. Stein uses sarcasm and dry humor throughout and though it is a documentary it is entertaining. It exposes many of the holes in Darwin's theory.

During the movie Stein traveled to concentration camps and places where genocide took place during the time of Hitler. Hitler was an extreme Darwinist and thought that he was doing the human race a favor by slaughtering those who were not considered to be perfect. People of handicaps and mental illness were wiped out thinking that it would cause the human species to grow stronger if the weak were not allowed to procreate. During the movie while they were showing the places where these people were taken from their hospital rooms and lead to their death, I began to feel an emotion that was overwhelming for me. I sat there thinking that a person who truly believes Darwin's theory to the extreme like Hitler would certainly be a person who believes abortion of babies with "abnormalities" is good for society.

I could not help but think that if our family lived in Germany during Hitler's reign, Isaac and Asher would have been seen as a drain on society and had they not passed away on their own they would have been killed. In thinking about that I thought about the impact they have had on this world in their short time here on earth. I cannot imagine my life without them. The idea that the world would be a better place without anyone with a disability is such a scary thought. Because we know that God doesn't make mistakes and that EVERY life matters, the idea that we should ever have any say in who is perfect and who isn't is ludicrous. We ALL have disabilities, some are just more obvious than others.

I am not really sure what I am trying to get at here. I guess I am just very thankful that we live in a different time, but as I think about it, things like this ARE still going on in other parts of the world. We don't deal with it necessarily here in the US and quite frankly are uncomfortable knowing that it does exist in other countries so we tend to ignore it. I assure you friends that this type of killing is still happening. So I ask that you pray for people all over the world to realize the gift that every life brings.

Today is proving to be a difficult day for me. My heart is heavy. Though I am so thankful that God chose our family for Isaac and Asher, I ache for them. I had so many plans and dreams for them. I do know that God's plan is THE ONLY plan and that none of this is a surprise to him. I can say for sure that I have experienced His comfort and peace. I am more sure than ever that God does exist. He created the Heavens and the Earth and everything therein. I know that God creates NO accidents and that nothing in this life that happens is surprise to him. He knows. He also knows the pain I feel. Some days that pain is almost unbearable. I just want to throw myself on the floor and scream asking God how he could allow this. And I may. I know that he will comfort me. He always does. He always brings just the right people to me at the perfect time to bring me comfort and I have hope in knowing that all of this is part of his perfect plan.

I am thankful that God created my children in his image and perfect.

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." Psalm 127:4

As I read scripture like this though, my heart soars with pride that my boys are my arrows. The ultimate goal for all of our children is that they are able to bring others closer to Jesus. Asher and Isaac have TRULY done that and continue to do so, so when I do feel that searing pain of loss I am also reminded that God has chosen our family for an important mission. We now must continue to give Asher and Isaac a voice and it is a responsibility we take very seriously. They deserve nothing but our best.

I want to end with a kind of funny story that unfolded last night at dinner. We sat down and we all held hands and began to thank God. We were trying to get Ben to say "Thank you, God" which he did say...followed by "great, great, great....knoooooooooooooowwwwwww." (which is part of a worship song he knows and whenever he hears the word God he sings it, which is funny in itself, but that isn't the story.) Then Luke said, "Thank you God for my brothers, all three of them, especially Ben because you let us keep him." Howard and I looked at each other and our jaws dropped. We looked at Luke and just nodded. He then proceeded, "I think Asher and Isaac were too cool. God just wanted to keep the cool ones for Himself, he couldn't let them go." Our eyes got wider. That is Luke's mentality right now. If he has two toys and has to share he keeps the cooler one for himself. So basically he was saying that he and Ben were the rejects. :-)

We explained to Luke that we are all born with a job to do and that Asher and Isaac already did theirs and we will continue to remember them and include them in our family. We told him that God makes all of us exactly how he wants us and that he thinks we are all the "coolest". God thinks Ben and Luke are just as "cool" as Isaac or Asher. He was so confused then as to why God took them and not he and Ben. We just explained that God has a plan and that we may not understand it but he has a good reason for everything He does and that whatever time He gives us on this earth we need to use loving others and sharing God's truth so that more people will get to go be with Him in Heaven.

That seemed to suffice for now...kids are so insightful. Ben and Luke are such amazing reminders that God is truly good and gives us amazing glimpses of true and pure innocence.