Thank you God for rainbows!

Today has been a weird day for me. Almost like I have a cloud hanging over me. I have been having a bit of trouble sleeping at night as my mind races the moment I have a free moment and since shower time and bedtime are basically my only alone time, bedtime has become frustrating for me. I want to sleep but I also need time to reflect and remember Isaac and Asher. I need time to talk to God and pray. Our power went out this afternoon for like the millionth time this month (and that was actually one of the bills I remembered to pay last month). We had to go out to get dinner as it as pretty dark in the house and we didn't want to keep opening the refrigerator as we didn't know how long the power would remain out. So we ran to get dinner and then I dropped Howard and Ben off at home so Luke and I could get to rehearsal for this weekend's church service. My whole day seemed like one big hurried fog. I am not sure I had a clear thought all day.

Tonight as I drove to church for PowerZone rehearsal it was storming like crazy. The rain was beating down and lightning flashed in the sky. I have always been afraid of storms. In 1985 we had a horrible tornado hit our area and I remember that day in May so vividly. Thankfully our family came out of it untouched but seeing the destruction all around is something I will never forget. Since that day storms make me very uneasy. So, as I drove I began to get this uneasy feeling. Luke was sleeping peacefully in the backseat and I had music playing and was trying to connect with God.

As I drove, my mind raced. I try every day to relive the days that Isaac and Asher were born so as not to forget even a tiny detail. I began thinking of the glorious day that God gave Asher to us. Though it was only for a short time it was the most amazing day of my life. A day filled with peace and love. A deeper love than I had ever known and peace like a warm fuzzy blanket. I prayed for God to help me to feel that peace again at that moment. Just then as I looked across the town of Edinboro and a rainbow appeared. I am not talking like a little piece of a rainbow, I saw a full arch in vibrant colors. And peace washed over me.

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. - Genesis 9:13

What an amazing gift a rainbow is. It is such a sign of hope and peace. It amazes me that there are people who can deny that God exists after seeing the beauty of something like a rainbow. It is so much more than a spectrum of light. It is a promise. The day we left the hospital after Isaac died we were so comforted when God put a rainbow in the sky. I am confident he does this JUST for me. :-) I am just so thankful that my God knows what I need at the exact moment I need it and he ALWAYS provides. I see Isaac and Asher that way, as rainbows. The beauty in the midst of the rain. God brings rain into our lives at times but the rainbows shine so brightly they almost make you forget about the rain. We have certainly had some rain lately but I cannot imagine more radiant rainbows than our little boys! Thank you God for rainbows! Thank you for your promise!